READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us, is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988). Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened and there's a good chance it won't ever happen! Now... Kristi and Dice present: Total Stunner! Oh Hell Yeah! by Kristi (Kristi_aka@hotmail.com) and Frederick "Dice" Casden (diceandkristifiles@yahoo.com) After overseeing the contract signing between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon on the March 15, 2010 edition of Monday Night RAW, WWE Hall of Famer Stone Cold Steve Austin is returning to the guest host's office located in the backstage area of San Diego, California's Sports Arena. Wearing blue jeans and a black t-shirt, Austin enters his office where he sees SmackDown's CM Punk pouring Austin's beer down into a trashcan. "Son, what do you think you're doing?" CM Punk smugly looks at Austin as he finishes emptying the last can of beer, "The WWE is under prohibition rules... you may have had some beer down at ringside, but you won't be drinking any more..." Punk says as he throws the empty beer can down at Austin's feet. The Bionic Redneck looks at Punk, then down at the empty beer can, then at Punk again, "You have got to be the dumbest son of a bitch I have ever met..." CM Punk cockily approaches Austin, "I am the savior of the WWE... I can save you from a life of dependency on...." Punk doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence before Austin kicks him in the stomach, causing Punk to double over. Austin then pops the right side of Punk's head with a vicious punch. "Ya'll don't mess with my beer dumb ass..." Austin says as he grabs Punk by his hair and runs him face first into the wall near the open office door, knocking Punk out. The Texas Rattlesnake then pulls the unconscious Straightedge Superstar out of his office and over to an open trash-bin. Austin then proceeds to put Punk head first into the trash-bin. Austin turns to walk back into his office, but he looks over his shoulder at the trash-bin that's filled with CM Punk's unconscious body with Punk's legs pointing up the air. Austin smirks as he then turns around and kicks the can over. "Annoying little prick..." Austin says before he again turns to go back to his office and as he does he sees RAW's Kelly Kelly jogging down the hallway with a cooler in one hand. As she reaches him, Kelly sees CM Punk in the trashcan. Kelly Kelly, dressed in a light pink tank top and a nicely tight fitting pair of jeans, turns her blond haired head to look at CM Punk unconscious in the trashcan. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip "Oh gee...." Kelly says before she looks at the evening's Guest Host, WWE Hall of Famer Stone Cold Steve Austin. "I guess you found out..." Kelly says with a soft laugh. Austin looks back at Punk, "That son of a bitch wasted some perfectly good beer... he's lucky I'm such a nice guy..." Austin says before he looks at Kelly and notices the cooler she's carrying, "What do ya got there?" Kelly cutely blushes and shyly lowers her blond haired head. "Well....Mr. Austin...." Kelly begins to cutely reply, "I happened to see CM Punk go into your office and seeing how he has been lately...I figured he would have done something really...REALLY ...stupid. "That he did..." Austin nods his head as he folds his arms while he listens to the gorgeous blond haired Diva. "So...I figured that I would restock your supply.." Kelly says with a smile as she sweetly blushes. Austin smiles slightly as Kelly lifts up the cooler and opens it, revealing several cold cans of beer in ice. "Now that's the prettiest sight I've seen all night..." Kelly blushes slightly and laughs "Awww thanks..." Kelly says before she looks directly at Stone Cold, noticing his attention solely on the contents of the cooler. "Ohhh...you mean the beer..." Kelly says with an adorable laugh. Austin chuckles slightly, "A woman holding beer is a great sight... and since you brought the beer, only suitable that you have a drink with ol' Stone Cold..." Austin says before he motions for Kelly to enter his office. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip and her adorable eyes lighten up with excitement. "Really!?" Kelly asks as she starts to follow Stone Cold Steve Austin into his office for the evening. "Oh hell yeah..." Austin nods his head as he closes the office door after Kelly enters. Kelly sits the cooler down on top of the table next to the couch as Austin walks over and takes a beer out of the cooler. "Bottoms up..." Austin says as he opens the beer and starts to gulp it down. Kelly Kelly smiles as she reaches into the cooler to remove a can of ice cold beer for herself and pops the top open before tilting her blond haired head back slightly and begins to impressively chug the beer. Austin notices Kelly chugging down her beer and despite starting after him Kelly finishes her beer first, Austin finishes off his beer and tosses the empty can behind him, "Now I'll be damned, you'll one hell of a hot little chugger aren't ya?" Kelly Kelly licks her pouty lips and wipes her mouth off slightly with her arm "Ummm...I guess so..." Kelly says with a laugh. "Have another..." Austin says as he grabs another beer from the cooler and pops the top. Kelly Kelly takes another can of beer from the cooler and pops the can open before she begins to chug another can of beer Austin gulps down his beer and watches Kelly at the same time and is again impressed at how Kelly can chug a beer. After he finishes drinking his beer, Austin again tosses the empty can behind him. "Alright little darlin', Stone Cold is impressed, you know how to drink beer..." Kelly nods her blond haired head "Of course I do! And...by the way...chugging beer is just one of my many talents!" "And what are your other talents?" Austin asks. Kelly Kelly blushes and innocently lowers her head "Ummm....well...." Kelly begins to say as she sweetly looks at Stone Cold before she cutely leans up on her teeth and softly whispers into Stone Cold's ear. Austin raises an eyebrow and looks at Kelly, "Now you are trying to pull my leg..." Kelly smiles and shakes her blond haired head. "Nope...it's true" "That I'll just have to see, but too bad we ain't in Milwaukee, would have a big piece of sausage for you to show that talent with..." Austin says Kelly scrunches her nose up and turns toward Stone Cold Steve Austin "Well...I could....ummm...show you the talent with you..." Austin looks at Kelly for a long moment, "You ain't tryin to pull a rib on Stone Cold are ya?" Kelly licks her soft and pouty lips before she cutely shakes her head. "No sir..." Austin nods his head, "Alright darlin'.... let's see that talent of yours..." Austin says. Kelly steps closer to Stone Cold and places her hands onto the waist of his jeans before she starts to unbutton and unzip his jeans before she starts to lower them from his waist, proceeding to kneel down in front of him. Austin takes another beer from the cooler as Kelly pulls down his jeans as she gets on her knees. Austin's thick and long cock starts to harden as Kelly wraps her right hand around the base of his shaft. Kelly presses hr soft lips together as she gently moves her right hand up and down his long and thick, hardened shaft as she comfortably settles on her knees before she leans her blond haired head toward his cock and gently slides her wet tongue against the head of his cock, coating her saliva against the head, before she guides her tongue down his thick shaft. "Mmmm..." Austin moans slightly as Kelly flicks her tongue against the head of his cock. Austin opens his beer and takes a long sip from it but doesn't gulp it down like before. "Mmmmmmm..." Kelly softly moans as she holds her right hand at the base of Stone Cold's shaft before she gently twists her hand against his cock before she opens her mouth and lowers her head, taking his cock into her sweet and innocent mouth. "Awww damn..." Austin groans as Kelly presses her lips down on his cock before she starts to bob her head on his shaft. Kelly closes her innocent eyes as she gently bobs her blond haired head on Stone Cold's cock, gently sliding her tongue against the bottom side of his shaft as she gradually begins to bob her head at a quicker pace. "Mmm... chug on that dick darlin..." Austin moans as he takes a sip of his beer while Kelly sucks on his stiff, thick shaft. "Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm...." Kelly Kelly softly moans as she turns her blond haired head on Stone Cold's cock, continuing to move her head at a quicker place as she gently moves her hand, grinding against his shaft. Austin places a hand on Kelly's head as she sucks and slurps on his stiff hard cock while he chugs down the rest of his beer. "Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Kelly continues to softly moans as she starts to take his cock deeper into her nicely wet and warm mouth, while slapping her tongue playfully against his shaft. "Mmmm ahhh... awww..." Stone Cold Steve Austin groans as Kelly takes more of his cock into her mouth. Kelly Kelly taps her soft and wet tongue against the bottom side of Stone Cold Steve Austin's cock as she steadily moves her head along his shaft. Austin tosses the empty beer can behind him on the floor as Kelly sucks and slurps on his cock while taking all of it into her mouth in order to deep throat his shaft. Kelly lifts her adorable eyes and looks up at Austin before she slowly pulls her blond haired head off of his cock. "Damn... that's pretty damn good..." Austin says as Kelly smiles up at him. Kelly Kelly bites down on her bottom lip and scoots back on her knees "You really think so? "Oh hell yeah.... now I'm wondering what other talents you got..." Austin says. Kelly laughs cutely and lifts her light pink tank top, gradually exposing her petite and gorgeously tanned upper body with her perfectly rounded and perky tits. Austin looks down at Kelly's round and perky tits, "Now those are two great talents right there..." Austin says as he takes off his t-shirt, revealing his toned upper body. Kelly Kelly rubs her soft and pouty lips together before she unbuttons her tight fitting jeans and proceeds to push them down from her nicely curved and gorgeous hips, guiding her jeans down her smooth, tanned legs. Austin moves to sit on the couch and he grabs another beer from the cooler as Kelly steps out of her jeans. Kelly kicks her jeans aside and then lowers her white panties down from her gorgeous waist, exposing her perfectly and smoothly shaved pussy to the Guest Host of Monday Night RAW for the evening. "Stone Cold can see that ya look like you got a lot of talent..." Austin says as he pops open his latest beer as Kelly begins to step over to him. Kelly lightly tosses her gorgeous blond hair back and leans forward to gently places her hands onto his strong shoulders before she gently straddles his lap and lowers herself down onto his rock hard cock. "Ahhh... mmm..." Austin moans as Kelly begins to rock on his cock while he begins to drink his beer. "Ohhhhhh...ohhhhhh yeah..." Kelly Kelly softly moans as she smoothly rocks back and forth on Stone Cold's cock, feeling him starts to pump his shaft upward into her wet and tight pussy. "Mmmm... ahhh yeah..." Austin groans as he thrusts his cock upward into Kelly's pussy as she rides his hard cock. Austin holds onto his beer with his right hand while he places his left hand on Kelly's waist. Kelly gently moves her hands to Stone Cold's nicely toned and muscular chest as she rocks back and forth on his shaft, feeling him sharply pumping upward into her wet pussy. "Ohhhhhh...ohhhhh..." "Ahhh.... mmmm fuck..." Austin grunts as he thrusts his cock up into Kelly's hot tight pussy as she rocks on his cock. Kelly lifts her left hand from Stone Cold's chest and gently takes hold of the can of beer that he is holding, removing the can from his hand and cutely takes a long drink of the beer as she rocks smoothly on his cock. "Mmmmm ahhh now that's stunning..." Austin groans as he places both of his hands on Kelly's waist to bounce her up and down on his cock as she continues to drink the beer. "Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmm..." Kelly moans as she drinks the beer, causing some to drip from her mouth and drip down to her tanned and perky tits, while she bounces rapidly on his stunning quick thrusting cock. "Can't waste beer..." Austin grunts as he leans forward and he starts to lap up the beer that has dripped onto Kelly's perky tits. Kelly Kelly lowers the beer can and cutely smiles at Stone Cold Steve Austin as she rapidly rocks back and forth on his cock as she lowers down repeatedly on his cock. The WWE Hall of Famer turns on the couch and lays Kelly down on it while at the same time getting on top of her while he continues to pump his cock into her cunt. Austin sits up on his knees as Kelly wraps her legs around his waist as he drills her. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip and closes her eyes as she moves back and forth on the couch as Stone Cold rapidly pumps his shaft into her pussy as her smooth, tanned legs rest against his waist. "Ahhhh.... aww...." Austin grunts loudly as he rams his cock swiftly and deeply into Kelly's wet and tight pussy as she grinds herself lightly against him. "Ohhhhhhh...ohhhhh yeah...mmmm that feels so good..." Kelly cutely moans as she feels Stone Cold's cock hammering into her pussy with firm and deep thrusts, while the WWE Hall of Famer and the evening's Guest Host manages to reach over to the cooler for another can of beer. "Mmmm.... ahhhh.... shit..." Austin groans as he pounds Kelly's pussy while he pops open the fresh can of beer. Austin starts to drink his beer as he slams his cock into Kelly's cunt. "Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh...ohhhhh yeah!" Kelly Kelly lustfully moans as she feels his rock hard cock slamming deeply into her wet pussy as she watches Stone Cold easily drink from the can of beer while he fucks her. Austin lowers the half empty beer can from his mouth as he pumps his cock relentlessly into Kelly's pussy. "Here ya go darlin..." Austin says before he extends his arm and turns the beer can upside down and pours the beer into Kelly's open mouth. "Mmmmmmmmmm...gahhhhh...." Kelly moans and gargles the beer in her mouth as she moves against the couch, while laying down with Stone Cold's cock pumping in and out of her wet pussy. Austin grits his teeth as he tilts the beer can up to allow Kelly to swallow what she has in her mouth. When she opens her mouth again, Austin pours the rest of the beer down into her mouth as his cock starts to throb. "MMMMMMMMM!....GAAAAAHHHH" Kelly moans loudly and gargles the beer before she closes her eyes and swallows the cold beer as she moves on the couch against Stone Cold Steve Austin's thrusting and throbbing shaft. "Ahhh... awww..." Austin tosses the empty beer can over his shoulder as he pulls his cock out of Kelly's pussy. The Texas Rattlesnake grips his pulsating shaft and strokes it until he starts to shoot his cum all over Kelly's flat and toned stomach. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip and cutely scrunches her nose up as she feels and watches Stone Cold's warm cum shoot from his cock and splatter on her tanned and smoothly toned stomach. "Ahhh... mmmm..." Austin groans as he keeps stroking his cock until he's finished shooting his warm cum onto Kelly's body. Kelly lifts her adorable and beautiful eyes to look at Stone Cold Steve Austin. "Wow! That was stunning!" Kelly says with a laugh. Austin smirks slightly at Kelly, "Well since you brought me some beer... and showed me some impressive talent... looks like Stone Cold Steve Austin owes you a little favor... you name it, you got it." Kelly rubs her pouty lips together and raises an eyebrow as she appears to be thinking "Ummmm...well....there is one thing..." "And that is?" "Well...I'm going to part of a match at WrestleMania...but the team I'm on is a Diva short...do you think you could assign Mickie James to the team?" Austin strokes his chin, "Heard she was injured... but if she can be ready by WrestleMania... she's on your team... and that's the bottom line... cause Stone Cold said so." -END-