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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

A Stratusfying Dose Of Mattitude
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

On the afternoon of March 29, 2003 at a hotel in Seattle, Washington, Trish
Stratus is preparing to leave the hotel's gym after getting a workout in as
she prepares herself to face Jazz and Women's Champion Victoria in a triple
threat match in less than 24 hours at WrestleMania 19. As Trish heads to the
double-doors that lead out of the gym, she sees Shannon Moore, wearing a
sleeveless Mattitude V1 t-shirt and jeans, coaching the WWE Cruiserweight
Champion Matt Hardy, dressed in workout shorts and a Mattitude V1 tank top,
as Matt is busy pedaling aggressively on a exercise bike. "Come on Matt, you
gotta lose that pound so you won't be stripped of the belt..." Shannon says
encouragingly, as it's clear to Trish that Matt Hardy is trying to meet the
weight limits of the Cruiserweight Division.

Trish Stratus pauses and presses her lips together as she places her hands
onto her nicely curved and toned hips. "You know...there is a quicker way to
lose that weight..." Trish says with a light laugh.

"Ohhhh... really?" Matt Hardy replies as he huffs and puffs as he pedals
rapidly on the exercise bike.

Shannon looks at Trish, "If you're gonna say eat healthy... he won't give up
his three quarter pounders from McDonalds..." Shannon says.

"Hey... shut up.... You're... the Mattitude Follow... I'm the Mattitude
Sensei..." Matt snaps while he breathes heavily. Trish bites down on her
bottom lip and turns her head away from Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore as she
starts to noticeably laugh.

"What's.... so funny..." Matt Hardy asks Trish as he hears her laughing.

Trish turns her head to look back at Matt Hardy. "Well you are..."

"Huh?" Matt stops pedaling, "I'm the Cruiserweight Champion... I am the
founder of Mattitude... I am the guiding light for all my MF'ers... like
Shannon here..."

"Well you say that you need to lose some of that weight to keep the
Cruiserweight Championship...between then Shannon here says you won't lay off
the quarter pounders from McDonalds..."

"I can eat what I want..." Matt Hardy says.

Shannon Moore shakes his head, "Matt you got to listen to me... if you don't,
you'll end up being as big of that fat ass Rikishi..."

Trish nods her blond haired head and laughs. "Yeah...I think Shannon is
right...I mean an occasional quarter pounder is fine...but like three every"

"I don't eat them every day!" Matt quickly replies.

"Hey Trish... you were a fitness model... you got any suggestions, cause he
just needs to lose a pound by tomorrow morning..." Shannon says.

Trish shrugs her shoulders lightly "Well there's a few things that could
possibly work..."

"Like what?" Shannon asks as Matt gets off of exercise bike.

" option is you not eating for the rest of
the day..." Trish says with a soft smile.

"I am not going to skip any meals..." Matt Hardy says as soon as Trish
finishes making her first suggestion.

Trish rolls her eyes and nods her head slightly. "Right...of course not..."
Trish takes a breath. "I would suggest going to the steam room for about an
hour and sweating the weight off...but I saw that the room is closed for

"That's where I was gonna have him go...." Shannon says with a slight laugh.

Trish bites down on her bottom lip. "And of course there's always sex...
easily you could burn a pound of two off doing that..."

Matt Hardy smirks, "Now that's an idea I can get behind..."

Trish nods her head and smiles a bit. "Good luck with that Matt..." Trish
says before she turns to walk away.

"Oh I will... I just gotta place a phone call and get a hot redhead..." Matt
says with a smirk.

"Hey wait a second Trish..." Shannon says as he moves towards her, "You
wouldn't mind helping out would you?" Shannon asks in a low tone of voice.

Trish Stratus pauses and raises an eyebrow as she turns to look back at
Shannon Moore and Matt Hardy. "Me?"

"Yeah..." Shannon nods his head, "If you don't want to it's cool, but you
know... every girl loves a dose of Mattitude.... and get a Morgasm on the
side..." Shannon says with a smile.

Trish shakes her head a bit "I don't think I'm really not Matt's type....he
said he wanted a red head..." Trish says as she licks her lips slightly
looking at Shannon Moore.

"Yeah... but blondes are better in bed..." Shannon grins, "And I need Matt to
have the best so he can get that pound off."

Trish raises an eyebrow and presses her pouty, luscious lips together. "Do
you think Matt would want me?"

"Oh yeah... if not I would take ya myself..." Shannon replies.

Trish nods her head and smiles. "I think I may just have to surprise him..."
Trish says to Shannon before she steps past Shannon and approaches Matt Hardy
as he is busy searching through his list of cell phone numbers on his phone.

"Awesome..." Shannon says with a grin.

"Lets see... who should I call..." Matt says as he doesn't notice Trish
coming towards him.

"Hey Matt..." Trish says as she places her hands onto her hips as she stands
directly in front of him.

"Yeah? What now?" Matt asks as he looks up at Trish.

Trish raises an eyebrow and smirks at Matt Hardy. "I think you need to put
that phone away..." Trish says before she reaches forward and grabs hold of
Matt's cell phone, taking it from her hands and tosses his cell phone aside
onto his gym bag nearby.

"Hey! I was gonna take your advice..." Matt says.

Trish laughs and shakes her head. "And I always thought Jeff was the one with
no brain cells..." Trish says with a laugh before she places her hands onto
his waist and lowers herself down onto her knees.

"What in the world are you doing?" Matt asks as Trish starts to pull down his
workout shorts, freeing his cock.

Shannon smirks, "Looks to me like she wants to help you lose that pound..."
Shannon says. Trish presses her luscious and moist lips together as she
places her left hand around Matt's shaft and looks up at him playfully as she
starts to move her hand smoothly against his shaft, feeling him harden

"Mmmmm..." Matt moans as Trish strokes his cock with her left hand until he's
fully hardened. Shannon licks his lips as he unbuttons his jeans before he
kneels behind Trish where he starts to slide down her tight fitting workout
shorts. Trish sits up higher on her knees to allow Shannon easy access at
lowering her tight fitting shorts as she starts to smoothly move her wet
tongue against the head of Matt's shaft, continuing to work her hand up and
down his shaft.

"Mmmmm.... fuck..." Matt groans as Trish flicks her tongue against the head
of his cock while she strokes his dick. Shannon licks his lips as he pulls
off Trish's workout shorts, exposing her perfectly round and juicy ass. Trish
closes her eyes and turns her head slightly as she slaps her wet tongue
against the head of Matt's shaft before she parts her lips and takes his cock
into her stunning mouth.

"Ahhh..." Matt moans as Trish begins to bob her head up and down on his cock.
Shannon pushes down his jeans from his waist freeing his own large cock and
he proceeds to guide his dick into Trish's wet pussy.

"Mmmmmmmmm!" Trish moans around Matt Hardy's cock as she starts to smoothly
bob her blonde haired head up and down on his cock, while rocking lightly on
her knees, feeling Shannon thrust into her from behind.

"Ahhhhh...." Shannon Moore groans as he places his hands on Trish's hips as
he thrusts his cock in and out of Trish's pussy. Matt licks his lips as he
places his hands on Trish's head as she sucks and slurps on his dick.

"Mmmmmmm....mmmmm..." Trish moans seductively around Matt's cock as she
smoothly lifts and lowers her head, brushing her pouty lips against his
shaft, gradually moving her head at a quicker pace as her gorgeously toned,
tanned ass smacks against Shannon's waist as he pulls her back against his

"Mmmmm suck it..." Matt moans as Trish takes his cock further into her mouth
while Shannon Moore briskly pumps his dick in and out of Trish's pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmmm..." Trish moans as she places both of her hands onto
Matt's toned waist and smoothly bobs her head back and forth, wetting him
perfectly with her saliva as she impressively takes him deeper, while pushing
back against Shannon's cock.

"Ahhhh yeah.... mmmm... fuck..." Shannon groans as he rams his cock deeply
into Trish's cunt with each of his thrusts. Matt takes off his tank top as he
watches Trish swallows his entire cock.

"Mmmmmmmm.." Trish seductively moans as she turns her head from side to side
on Matt's cock before she lowers her head completely down with one easy

"Ohhh yeah.... shit..." Matt Hardy moans as Trish Stratus holds his cock deep
within her mouth while Shannon fucks her from behind. Trish slowly starts to
lift her blonde haired head up from Matt's cock, teasingly dragging her
tongue and lips against his shaft.

"Fuck yeah... mmmm bet you've been wanting some Mattitude for a long time..."
Matt grins down at Trish as she teasingly works her tongue against the head
of his cock while Shannon deeply fucks her cunt.

Trish nods her head and smiles as she looks up at Matt Hardy. "Oh yeah...mmm
you bet I do!"

Matt smirks as he proceeds to lay down on the gym floor, "Shannon pull out so
Trish can get some Mattitude in her..." Matt says.

Shannon shakes his head as he pulls out, "You got to be the one doing the
work here Matt..." Shannon says as Trish moves to straddle Matt's cock.

Trish licks her lips and smirks down at Matt Hardy. "Shannon is right..."
Trish says as she places her hands down onto his toned chest and begins to
rock back and forth on his shaft, grinding her pussy down smoothly. "Yeah
Matt...if you're not putting any effort're not gonna lose that

"I'll lose it..." Matt smirks as he starts to thrust his cock up into Trish's
pussy as she rocks on his shaft.

"Mmmmmm...that's the spirit gotta think positive!" Trish moans as
she bounces perfectly on his cock, lowering and lifting with ease

"Mmmmm I'm positive my cock is in your cunt..." Matt grins as Trish bounces
up and down on his cock. Shannon takes off his t-shirt before he scoots
closer to Trish and he eases his cock into her asshole.

"Mmmmmmmm yeah" Trish moans and closes her eyes as she leans back slightly to
push herself against his cock, feeling Shannon work his cock deeper into her
ass, while bouncing on Matt's cock.

"Ahhhh.... ahhhh...." Shannon groans as he grabs Trish's hips again as he
thrusts his cock in and out of Trish Stratus's gorgeous ass. Matt licks his
lips as he steadily thrusts his cock up into Trish's pussy as she bounces
sharply on his dick.

"O0hhhhhhhh....ohhhhhhh yeah..." Trish moans as she rocks back and forth on
Matt's cock, grinding smoothly, as Shannon firmly pumps into her toned ass.

"Awwwww fuck... mmmm..." Matt groans as Trish rocks harder on his cock thanks
to the way Shannon is fucking her from behind.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhh fuck..." Trish moans as she moves her hands to Matt's
shoulders, leaning forward more on his cock, so that she is just inches from
being directly on top of him as Shannon Moore deeply and swiftly works his
cock into her stunning ass.

"Mmmm yeah ride that dick... mmmm yeah..." Matt Hardy moans as he thrusts his
cock lightly into Trish's pussy. Shannon smirks as Trish rocks back against
him while he deeply fucks her ass.

"Ohhhhhhhhh shit...mmmmmm..." Trish moans and tilts her head back as she
begins to cum on Matt's cock.

"Ohhhh ahhh..." Matt Hardy groans as his cock starts to throb before he
begins to cum inside of Trish's hot pussy while Shannon continues to fuck
Trish's ass.

"Mmmmmmmm......ohhhhhh yeah..." Trish moans and tosses her blond haired head
back as she feels the sudden warmth of Matt's cum flooding her pussy.

"Ahhh fuck... mmm I gotta get to a scale..." Matt groans as Trish grinds her
soaking wet cunt on his spent cock. Shannon pulls his now throbbing cock out
of Trish's ass to help her off of Matt. As Matt gets to his feet to go to a
nearby scale, Trish turns to face Shannon and his throbbing dick.

Trish raises an eyebrow and licks her lips as she looks up at Shannon Moore.
"I bet you're just dying for some Stratusfaction..."

"Oh yeah..." Shannon grins as Trish pulls up her sweat soaked top up over her
big juicy tits. The gorgeous blond begins to squeeze her own tits teasingly,
which inspires Shannon to start stroking his throbbing cock.

"I bet you want to spray your load all on these tits..." Trish says with a
playfully laugh as she holds her tits up with her hands

"Mmmm you have no idea..." Shannon says as he strokes his cock rapidly with
his right hand.

"This scale has to be broken..." Matt says as he moves from the scale he's on
to another one to check his weight. Trish closes her eyes and tilts her head
back as she arches her back slightly in order to give Shannon a perfect
target of her nicely rounded, juicy, tanned tits.

"Mmmmmm.... ahhhhh..." Shannon Moore grunts as he starts to spray his warm,
sticky cum all over Trish's huge tits. Trish bites down on her bottom lip as
she feels Shannon's warm cum splattering down on her tits and dripping
downward then after.

"Ahhhh fuck... mmmmm..." Shannon moans as he keeps stroking his cock until
he's finished cumming.

"This is bullshit... I didn't lose any weight!" Matt snaps as he steps off
the second scale and kicks it.

Trish opens her beautiful eyes and turns her head to glances over at Matt
Hardy. "What's wrong?"

"You said fucking would help lose weight..." Matt snaps.

"Matt you had to do a lot more than what you did... you just got blown and
Trish rode ya..." Shannon says.

"Shut up... I'm the Mattitude Sensei... you're the MF'er...." Matt snaps as
he picks up his shorts and tank top, "I know... I'll find two red-heads..."
Matt says as he walks away from Shannon and Trish.

Shannon looks at Trish as she looks at him, "Well I think I burned off a
little fat...." Shannon laughs a bit.

Trish smiles and laughs. "Do you want to see for sure if my method worked!"

"Sure...." Shannon nods his head and smiles.

Trish raises an eyebrow and then looks at Shannon's waist. "I don't know if
you lost much though...we may have a little more work to do..."

Shannon licks his lips, "I think before I hit the scales we maybe should do
another round... more intense and one on one..."

Trish laughs and smirks a bit "It sounds like you're the one who really wants
to lose those extra pounds..."

"I can always use a little toning.... not afraid to admit that..." Shannon


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