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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us, is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

AfterBuzz: Mickie Tells All
by Kristi ( and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

"And welcome back to AfterBuzz..." Maria Kanellis says as adjust her headset while speaking into the studio microphone, "Joining me in the studio for this next segment is a woman who's name has been dragged through the mud lately by a bitter ex-fiance... former WWE Diva and current TNA Knockout Mickie James! Mickie how are things? I heard you're dating some big hunky British guy..." Maria says with a grin as she looks across the studio desk at Mickie.

Mickie laughs a bit and nods her head. "Yes...I am currently taken, sorry to disappoint all the single guys out there"

Maria grins, "And he's that guy who was on the UK's American Gladiators right who works with you in TNA? What's his name...Magnus? He's a stud, but what a silly name..." Maria says jokingly.

Mickie laughs "Well the ring name may need a little work."

"Indeed... so... speaking of 'boyfriends'... one of your ex's has been well... making an ass out of himself lately..." Maria says.

"Is it CM Punk?" Mickie asks jokingly before she laughs.

"Nope... he's been behaving himself..." Maria laughs, "And it isn't Joey Mercury... it's the 'other' one.." Maria adds.

"Oh yes..." Mickie says with a sigh. "I've really tried to forget about him, but it's really hard with all the attention he's craving for..."

"For those of you out there listening out there who don't know... the 'other one' Ken Doane... aka Kenny from the Spirit Squad... aka Kenny Dykstra...who was once engaged to be married with Mickie..." Maria explains.

"Oh yes...such happy memories..." Mickie says with sarcasm.

"I have to know... and this is something I've waited years to ask.. .exactly how on Earth did he get to be that close to you? Because when I first me him he was an annoying little prick down in OVW that sucked up to everyone that came down there from the WWE roster for an appearance..."

"You know...when I first met Ken, I knew that he wasn't well liked by a lot of colleagues, however, at the time I started to see and eventually get to know a different who was kind and caring, and treated so much...well like how every girl wants to be treated as a princess...but that was just how it started..."

Maria nods her head, "Ok, fair enough, and I'll admit he was cute at the time..." Maria says with a bit of a laugh.

Mickie nods her head. "Exactly...I mean, you and I were both in OVW together for a while, you saw how he treated me then...I had never felt so loved before and every thing was going great for those like one to two years and when he asked me to marry him, I had to say yes....I mean I was tremendously happy."

"I remember... but then that started to change when you and Punk got a tryout on Heat and Ken got really jealous over that..." Maria says.

"Yes....and really everything started to change then...he became really posession of me...almost really paranoid about me...he would constantly question me if I went out for a run or went to get coffee about who I was with, he started checking my e-mail and cell phone..."

"And this was even before you were brought up to the roster full time... then when you got called up and were riding with Trish and Ashley, when you and I went down to appear at the OVW Christmas party, he asked you in front of everyone if you turned into a lesbian..."

"Yes...he was so paranoid about me cheating on him and the fact that I was hanging out with Trish Stratus and Ashley, traveling with them to events that I was so how with them.." Mickie pauses for a moment. "Absolutely not the case...and when I happened to kiss Trish Stratus on television as part of a storyline he freaked out, I remember at the time he said that he didn't want to marry any dyke..."

"Which was pretty idiotic of him... after all, Punk didn't have a problem with a girl who liked to experiment... but that's a different subject for a different time," Maria says, "But here's what gets me, when Ken got brought up with the other Spirit Squad guys, he was chasing after every Diva on the RAW roster..."

Mickie nods her head. "Yes he did, but I did not know that until later on..." Mickie pauses and takes breath. "Can we go back to something real quick?"

"Sure..." Maria nods her head.

"Just to put into perspective of how paranoid and possessive that Ken got of you remember when Cody Rhodes was brought up to the main roster and it was teased for a few weeks that him and I might develop as an item on television?"

"Yeah... we had a bet in the locker room on if that would happen or not... " Maria says with a smile.

"Well Ken through a fit about it...especially when I hugged Cody in the ring. He hated it....he demanded that I have the storyline ended..." Mickie pauses for a moment. "So I ended up going to Stephanie McMahon, who for those that don't know was in charge of all the creative parts of the WWE, and I made up some excuse to her that I wasn't comfortable being in the angle with Cody..."

"Oh right... and then Cody floated around for a bit until they figured to put him in a tag team with Bob Holly just to give him something to do," Maria says.

"Yes...." Mickie says with a nod of her head. "But back to what were talking about...I know recently Ken has said some things. I will not deny it that I did have a relationship with John Cena, however, the version that Ken has told is 100% false. John and I were friends, Ken hated it. I don't know the reason why, because I really had no attraction to John at the time. What changed was I found out that Ken had been with Melina...I was devastated and I called off the wedding and broke things off with Ken. John was there for me...he was the one that wiped my eyes as I balled night after night, until I fell for John."

"Well I was going to get to John and you in a little bit, but since you mentioned it and how you fell for him, I think for those out there listening, I have to clarify that John Cena was of course single at the time... so any cheese ball lawyers hoping for some dirt to help his soon to be ex-wife in their divorce settlement, change the channel..."

"Yes...that's true...John was single at the time, in fact he ended things with me when Liz came back into the picture..." Mickie pauses. "From what I understood was that Liz and John dated in high school, spent numerous years on and off, and Liz came into his life and they married."

"Which is pretty much what everyone knows... and John, well, we know he likes the ladies as much as the next guy... but he does treat everyone with respect," Maria says.

"Ken wants to blame John and even me for his short comings with the WWE and it's not the case. Like Vince McMahon said about the Montreal Screwjob in 97...Ken screwed Ken."

"And speaking of that rather fun activity..." Maria pauses for a moment, "I'm going to borrow a game from this guy I did a shoot interview with and ask... you've been with Ken, Joey, Punk, John and your current guy Magnus, who's got the best equipment?" Maria asks.

Mickie James laughs. "Oh gosh...I have to say Magnus or else he might get mad!" Mickie replies jokingly.

Maria laughs, "Oh come on a big hunky guy like that... surely he can't be insecure about what he brings..."

Mickie laughs. "Ok...I'll say this...the least impressive was Ken..."

"No surprise there... you remember Mikey Mondo? I work with him in Ring of Honor and he said that Ken had 'little spirit' if you catch my meaning..." Maria grins, "But now, let's get to going over SmackDown... we'll revisit the boy talk later..."

* * *

Later on in the show after discussing the events of the WWE's latest broadcast of SmackDown, "That was great Mickie..." Maria says to her guest, "But I got one more question before we go off the air..."

"And what would that be?"

"In your opinion how good a fuck is John?" Maria asks with a grin.

Mickie laughs and turns her head to look at Maria. "Well you should know yourself..."

"Well yeah...I do... in my book, he and Punk are tied... which is above my current boyfriend, but don't tell him that..." Maria laughs, "So what was the best fuck you had with him?"

Mickie bites down on her bottom lip and thinks for a moment. " would have to be at his place actually...I think we had been together about five or six months...he just got his pool installed."

"Oh do tell..." Maria grins.

* * *

At his home in Tampa, Florida, on a hot July night in 2008, John Cena, wearing swim trunks, is leading Mickie James out to his newly installed pool, "They finished it last Thursday just before our run through the Carolina's..." Cena says to Mickie.

Mickie, dressed in a stunning yellow bikini, places her hands onto her curved hips. "I can't believe you didn't buy a house that already had a pool..." Mickie says with a laugh.

"It was cheaper to get a house and have a pool put in..." John laughs, "Not by much though, probably a grand or so..."

Mickie nods her head as she follows John Cena out the patio door and to his backyard.

"So what do you think?" John asks as he flips a light switch that's on the exterior of his house, turning on two outdoor lights that reveal a modestly sized rectangular shaped pool.

Mickie presses her lips together and looks at John Cena before she starts to laugh. "This is it?" Mickie asks with her nose cutely scrunched up.

"Yeah..." John nods his head before asking, "What's so funny?"

Mickie shakes her head and blushes a bit. "'s nice...I was just expecting something different...I mean you're John Cena and you've got lots of money."

John laughs, "Well I have to be smart too, besides, it's not I was trying to have Big Show's bathtub in my backyard," John says jokingly.

Mickie laughs as she places her hands onto John Cena's muscular chest and playfully pushes him.

"Hey.... whoa..." John says as he looses his balance and ends up falling into his pool, and the resulting splash of water is enough to get Mickie wet.

"Ohhhhh my god!" Mickie yells and laughs as she lowers her head as water drips down her body.

After a few moments, John comes up from the water and moves towards the edge of the pool, "Real funny..." John laughs a bit.

Mickie presses her lips together and playfully looks down at John. "I thought it was..." Mickie says with a laugh before she moves to sit down on the edge of the pool with her legs dripping into the water.

"You know what I would find funny?" John asks as he moves in the water to where he can place his hands on Mickie's submerged ankles and teases as if he's going to pull her in.

Mickie opens her mouth in shock and looks at John. "You wouldn't dare!"

John grins up at Mickie as he gives her legs a slight tug, causing her to scoot forward on the pool's edge.

Mickie narrows her eyes slightly. "Don't you even think about it..." Mickie says with a slight smile.

"Think about what?" John asks innocently as he slides his hands upward on Mickie's legs towards her yellow bikini bottoms which he starts to slide down from her hips.

Mickie raises an eyebrow as she curiously looks at John Cena as he slides her bikini bottoms down her tanned and smooth legs as her nicely shaved pussy becomes exposed.

After sliding her bikini bottoms past her feet, John tosses it onto the patio before he spreads Mickie's legs where he proceeds to lean forward to flick his tongue against Mickie's pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...." Mickie moans and lightly grits her teeth as she feels his tongue traveling against her wet snatch.

"Mmmmm..." John Cena moans as he tastes Mickie's cunt as he flicks his tongue against her pussy lips

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhhh...." Mickie James moans as she starts to push against his tongue.

John brings his right hand up to Mickie's pussy and as he works his tongue against her snatch, John pushes two fingers into her pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhh damn it, John..." Mickie groans and tilts her head back.

The muscular stud grins as he tease Mickie's pussy with his tongue while he pumps his fingers in and out of her at the same time.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhh.." Mickie lustfully moans as she pushes against his tongue, moving on the edge of the pool.

Withdrawing his fingers from Mickie's snatch, John quickly replaces them with his tongue, pushing it deeply to probe the insides of Mickie's cunt.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh...." Mickie lustfully groans as she pushes eagerly against his tongue.

John places his hands on Mickie's hips as he munches on her pussy by darting his tongue in and out of her as she grinds eagerly against his mouth.

Mickie places her hands on top of John's head as she watches his head bob as he works his tongue against her wet pussy.

John slides his hands over Mickie's hips as fucks her pussy with his talented tongue while Mickie kicks her feet in the water every time his tongue brushes against her clit.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhhh..." Mickie moans as she squirms while sitting on the edge of the pool with Cena's tongue teasing her.

John glances up at Mickie as he brushes the tip of his tongue against Mickie's pussy and he laughs slightly as Mickie's presses her hands firmly down on his head.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...." Mickie moans as she leans her head back and grits her teeth.

Despite Mickie pushing his head downward John lifts his head up from her pussy rather easily. As Mickie starts to remove her bikini top, John moves to where he can climb out of the pool and approach her.

Mickie smiles as she tosses her yellow bikini top aside and her nicely rounded, perky and tanned tits become exposed.

"Fuck..." John licks his lips as he looks at Mickie's juicy round tits as she turns to sit on her knees before she jerks down his soaking wet swim trunks, freeing his long, meaty cock and large balls.

Mickie licks her lips and playfully looks up at Cena as she places her left hand around his shaft and begins to work her hand back and forth, making him perfectly hard before guiding his cock into her mouth.

"Ahhh..." John moans as Mickie wraps her lips around his fat fuck stick prior to starting to bob her head on it.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm..." Mickie moans as she bobs her head smoothly back and forth, with her lips brushing on his shaft.

"Awww... mmmm fuck..." John moans as Mickie bobs her head up and down on his cock. John places one hand on Mickie's head and lightly thrusts his cock forward just as Mickie is lowering her head on his shaft.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmm...." Mickie softly moans as she turns her head from side to side on Cena's large cock.

"Ohhhh ahhhh..." John groans as Mickie lets her saliva drip down his cock as she bobs her head on it.

Mickie places her hands onto Cena's muscular waist and steadily bobs her head back and forth with her lips perfectly gliding along his shaft.

"Ohhhh yeah... mmmmm fuck..." John Cena moans as Mickie easily handles his big hard cock with her talented mouth.

Mickie James lifts her beautiful eyes and looks up at John Cena as she perfectly sucks on his cock.

"Ahhhh fuck.... mmmm damn..." John moans as he grins down at Mickie as she sucks and slurps on his fat long shaft.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm..." Mickie moans around his as she bobs her head at a quick pace with her tongue sliding against the bottom side of his cock.

"Ohhhh fuck yeah... mmmm damn..." John moans as Mickie slides her tongue against the bottom side of his dick as she lowers her head all the way down until her nose is brushing against his crotch.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm!" Mickie moans as she holds his cock deeply inside of her mouth before she starts to slowly lift her head off of his cock.

"Mmmm shit..." John moans as the head of his cock pops free from Mickie's lips.

Mickie smiles up at Cena before she turns on her knees and leans forward onto her hands.

John kneels behind Mickie and proceeds to guide his saliva coated cock into her pussy. Placing his hands on Mickie's hips, John begins to thrust his shaft in and out of her twat.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhh John...." Mickie moans and closes her eyes as she begins to rock forward on her hands and knees with his large cock pumping in and out of her wet snatch.

John licks his lips as he thrusts his cock into the Native American snatch of Mickie James as she pushes back against him, causing her round ass to smack against his muscular waist.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhhh..." Mickie moans as her juicy ass smacking against his waist as she feels him deeply plowing into her.

"Ahhh yeah..." John grunts as he steadily increases the pace of his thrusts as he rams his cock harder and deeper into her pussy.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh that feels so good, John..." Mickie moans and licks her lips as she rocks back and forth while on her hands and knees with his cock slamming into her.

"Awwww shit... mmmm damn..." John groans as he plows his cock balls deep into Mickie's cunt as she rocks back to match his pace.

Mickie turns her head back and looks at John with smile as she pushes against his cock.

John grins at Mickie as he rams his cock into her twat a few more times before pulling out. John lays down on the ground and smirks as Mickie pounces on top of him.

Mickie presses her lips together and places her hands down onto John Cena's muscular waist and begins to swiftly bounce up and down, with her perky tits bouncing.

"Ohhhh yeah..." John moans as Mickie bounces up and down on his cock at a rather brisk pace. Placing his hands on Mickie's thighs, John lets Mickie bounce freely on his long hard shaft as she makes sure she takes it completely into her snatch each time she drops downward.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhh yeah...ohhhhh John..." Mickie moans as she lustfully rocks back and forth on his rock hard cock.

"Ahhhh yeah..." John moans as Mickie grinds her twat down on his cock. Moving his hands to reach behind her to grab Mickie's ass, John starts to thrust his cock up into her pussy with sharp and very brisk upward thrusts.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh yeah! Ohhhhhhh!" Mickie moans and closes her eyes as she rapidly bounces up and down on his rock hard cock.

"Ahhhh mmm fuck yeah..." John groans as he watches Mickie's tits bounce as she rides his upward thrusting cock.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhhh!" Mickie moans as she sharply rocks back and forth on his cock, lowering down as he thrusts up into her.

John licks his lips as Mickie sits upright on his cock as she bounces on it, dropping all of her weight down on his shaft.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmm damn..." Mickie moans and licks her lips as she rapidly rocks back and forth on his cock, grinding down on his cock.

"Mmmmm shit Mickie..." John moans as Mickie rotates her hips as she works her pussy sharply down on his pistoning cock. John sits up and turns over so that he can lay Mickie on the ground while getting on top of her and continuing to pound her pussy with his large shaft.

Mickie smiles up at John Cena and places her hands onto his strong arms as she wraps her tanned, smooth legs around his waist and begins to push against his cock while he pumps down into her pussy.

John grins down at Mickie as he places his hands on the ground just above her shoulder as he plows his cock balls deep into her cunt.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhh..." Mickie moans as her body jolts forward underneath him as he plows his cock into her pussy.

"Ohhhh shit... ahhhh..." John groans as he drives his cock repeatedly into Mickie's pussy causing her to tightly squeeze his waist with her gorgeous legs and rake her fingernails on the biceps of his arms.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh...ohhhhh..." Mickie moans and breaths heavily as sweat drips from her body as she grinds against his thrusting cock.

Sweat and water drip off of John Cena's body as he deeply fucks her at a swift pace.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhh...ohhhhhhh fuck!" Mickie moans and grits her teeth as she feels every inch of Cena's cock slamming into her pussy.

John sits up on his knees and moves his hands back to Mickie's hips. As he repeatedly shoves his entire cock into Mickie's cunt, he starts to lift and lower her body by her hips, causing Mickie to grind herself against his fat prick.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmm ohhhhhh yeah...ohhhhh!" Mickie moans as her perky and rounded tits bounce and sway as Cena slams into her.

John grits his teeth as he gives Mickie a good hard fucking, not at all easing up on his thrusts. The muscular stud smirks as Mickie arches her body as he fucks her by the side of his pool.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...ohhhhh shit..." Mickie moans and her body tenses as she begins to cum against Cena's cock.

"Ahhhh fuck..." John moans as he feels Mickie's snatch tightly gripping his cock as her juices flow over his pistoning meat stick.

"Mmmmmmmmm....John..." Mickie groans as she grinds against his cock, with her legs pressed tightly around his waist.

"Ohhhh ahhhh..." John Cena groans as his cock gradually begins to throb within Mickie's extremely well fucked pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhh John...mmmmm" Mickie moans and arches her back as she feels his cock hammering firmly into her pussy.

Releasing Mickie's hips, John grabs her legs and gently pulls them from around his waist while thrusting his throbbing cock repeatedly into her twat. After a few more moments, John pulls out of Mickie's soaking wet pussy while she rises to a sitting position. John stands up as Mickie uses both hands to grab his throbbing meaty cock that is coated with her cum.

Mickie smiles up at John Cena and begins to flick her wet tongue against the head of his heavily throbbing cock, while working her hands against his shaft.

"Ahhhh shit..." John groans as Mickie is constantly adjusting the grip of her hands on his cock as she strokes it while lapping her tongue against the tip.

"Mmmmmmm..." Mickie moans before she parts her lips and takes the head of his cock into her mouth

Just as Mickie wraps her lips around the head of his cock, John begins to cum, flooding her mouth instantly with a mouthful of spunk.

Mickie turns her head on his cock and grinds her lips on his cock as she starts to lightly bob her head to swallowing his cum as she sucks on his cock.

"Ahhhhh..." John groans as Mickie sucks every ounce of cum out of his cock.

Mickie unwraps her lips from around his shaft and begins to lift her head, with a single drop of cum on her lips.

"Mmmm damn Mickie..." John grins down at Mickie.

"Mmmmmmmm...that was fun!" Mickie says with a smile.

* * *

Maria licks her lips, "Jesus... that sounded fucking hot..." Maria says as Mickie finishes telling her of that hot night with John Cena.

Mickie laughs a bit "You think that's the only time that John and I had sex?"

"Nope.... cause from what you told me, he didn't fuck that ass of yours that time and like every wrestler I've met always goes for the butt..." Maria laughs. "And with him being divorced now... I bet the girls up in the WWE are in for a 'hard fun time'..."

"Well...John and I had a few good times..." Mickie says with a smile.

"I bet you did... of course I did too... but you know just a random night here... a random night there..." Maria grins.

"You know...I bet tons of Divas, past and present had a lot of interesting stories..."

"Oh yeah..." Maria nods her head, "Wonder how many would want to come on the air and tell them..."


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