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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Cena Sucks
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

During the December 5, 2011 broadcast of RAW SuperShow, John Cena, wearing
camo shorts, is returning to the backstage area after helping Zack Ryder
defeat Mark Henry so that Long Island native could get a shot at the United
States Championship at the upcoming TLC: Tables Ladders Chairs pay-per-view.
As Cena makes his way back to his locker room, the WWE Divas Champion Beth
Phoenix and Natalya Neidhart step into his path to block his way. Cena raises
an eyebrow, "Well I hate to borrow material from Vickie, but excuse me..."
Cena says jokingly.

Natalya presses her lips together and smirks before she shakes her head,
looking at Cena. "Boy, really are something, you know?" Natalya
asks, dressed in a pair of tight black wrestling tights and a black top.

"And for your information she doesn't mean that in a good way..." Beth
Phoenix replies, dressed in a short black warrior princess skirt and black

Cena raises an eyebrow and smiles, "Okay I'll bite... in what way do you mean
Nattie?" Cena asks the third generation Diva.

"You must be really insane, John...I mean giving a chance to some loser like
Zack Ryder..." Natalya says before she laughs. "You've really reached an all
time low..."

"If that's an all time low then I must be doing really well then... " Cena
says jokingly, "Besides, Zack has earned a chance to show what he can do..."

Beth Phoenix cross her arms against her chest and smirks. "I agree,'s completely insane to give up a shot at the WWE Championship to
some moron, like Zack Ryder...have you lost your passion for the business,
John?" Beth asks in a condescending tone.

Natalya perks up and mockingly acts ditzy. "Oh gee, Beth...maybe John Cena
wants to know...impress one of, you know, Barbie Doll

"Hmmm you know I didn't think of that..." Cena says jokingly in response to
Natalya before looking at Beth, "And to answer your question, no I haven't,
however unlike a lot of guys who get to the top and just take up space, I do
like seeing people get their chances to shine in the spotlight..."

Natalya shrugs her shoulders. "I think you're insane...."

Beth shakes her head and looks at Natalya. "No, Nattie...I don't think John's
insane. I think he just plain out...SUCKS!"

"Eh everyone's entitled to their own opinion..." Cena says with a shrug of
his shoulders.

Natalya nods her head. "Yeah, I'm with you sister....maybe Cena does just

"Well... twelve world titles... four tag team titles... and three United
States titles... a few Slammys and a Royal Rumble win... say other wise,"
Cena says jokingly.

Beth narrows her eyes and unfolds her arms to point at Cena. " know
what your problem is John? You take everything as a joke..."

"Well if I took everything seriously, I would be as miserable as a lot of
people around here," Cena replies.

Natalya presses her lips together and looks at Cena curiously. "You know,
Beth...I wonder if Cena really does suck..." Natalya says.

Beth raises an eyebrow and smirks "I don't think Cena is man enough..." Beth

Natalya laughs a bit. "Really? I've always heard that Cena is never afraid to
try something, at least once..." Natalya says.

Beth shrugs her shoulders. "I still don't think he could handle it..."

Cena raises an eyebrow, "Ok... what are you two talking about?"

Beth Phoenix wickedly smirks and looks at John Cena. "Tell me, John...have
you ever been fucked by a woman that is Pin-Up Strong...not some pathetic
Barbie Doll Diva?"

John Cena scratches the back of his neck, "Well I've fucked a few Pin-Up
girls in my time..." Cena says jokingly.

Natalya tilts her head back and deeply laughs. "She didn't ask if you've
fucked them..."

Cena looks at Natalya, "Yeah she did, she asked if I ever been fucked by a
woman that is Pin-Up strong..." Cena then pauses and then laughs, "Oh... oh I
get it now... you mean if I ever let a girl do to me what you have done to a
couple of guys lately..." Cena says.

Beth nods her head and wickedly smirks. "How observant, John..."

"People talk, what can I say," Cena smiles, "But to answer your question...
no I have not done that..."

"He's probably too afraid to even try it, Beth..." Natalya says with a
mocking tone.

"Hey... hey... hey... " Cena says as he looks at Natalya again, "Have I ever
backed down from any challenge... no I have not... sure it's a little
strange... but, what the hell, I'll try anything once..." Cena says.

Beth Phoenix raises an eyebrow and looks at John Cena. "Are you sure about
that, John? Cause Nattie and I...we don't go easy and we don't let up
either...If you don't like it, we'll too fuckin' bad."

"So... why are you trying to talk me out of it?" Cena asks with a smile, "I
already said I'll try it once..."

* * *

Later on at Beth and Natalya's hotel room, John Cena has finished undressing
and is moving to kneel on the hotel room bed as Beth Phoenix stands on it,
adjusting her strap-on's harness around her waist while Natalya leans against
the hotel room dresser. "Hate to say it Beth but mine's bigger..." Cena says
jokingly as he sees the size of Beth's strap-on dildo.

"Nervous, John?" Beth asks with a smirk, before she steps closer to John

"Oh yeah... but hey I'm here so let's do this..." Cena says he places his
right hand on Beth's hip, which helps her balance herself on the bed.

"He's not really going to..." Natalya says before she cuts herself off when
she sees Cena open his mouth to show he's ready for Beth.

Beth smirks and looks down at John Cena before she places her hands onto the
back of his head and pushes her hips forward to force the strap-on into his

"Mmmm Gah... ahhh..." Cena gags a bit as Beth pushes the strap-on deeply into
his mouth. Even though Beth has a firm leverage advantage due to her
standing, Cena manages to lift his head a bit in order to get use to the long
and thick plastic shaft being in his mouth before lowering his head down
slightly on it before lifting his head again. Gradually the leader of the
CeNation begins to work out a pace of bobbing his head on Beth's strap-on.

" me how much you suck, Cena..." Beth groans as she keeps
her hands on his head as he bobs his head along the strap-on.

"Mmmm..." Cena groans on the strap-on as he takes it a bit further into his
mouth while trying to remember all the different ways countless WWE Divas
have suck his large cock over the years.

"I don't believe this..." Natalya says as she's clearly stunned by what she's
seeing even though she helped The Glamazon challenge Cena into doing it.

Beth starts to move her hips forward as she works the strap-on in and out of
Cena's mouth, grinding the plastic against his lips.

"Mmmm... mmm..." Cena moans on the strap-on as Beth Phoenix thrusts the
strap-on in and out of her mouth. Cena places his left hand on Beth's left
thigh as he bobs his head more steadily on Beth's strap-on.

" like that...don't you? You sick fucker..." Beth taunts and
grits her teeth as she starts to push deeper and quicker into his mouth.

"Ahhhh gahhh..." Cena gags as Beth fucks his mouth at a brisk pace. Natalya
grins a bit as she hears Cena gagging while she notices him moving his left
hand on Beth's thigh until he can reach behind The Glamazon. Showing that he
pays attention to the different styles of blowjobs he's received, Cena
manages to push a finger between Beth's ass cheeks and into her asshole.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh fuck..." Beth moans and grits her teeth as she feels his
finger enter her ass, causing her to tense up and firmly push the strap-on
into his mouth.

"GAHHH Ahhhh!" Cena gags as the head of Beth's strap-on hits the back of his
mouth as he works his finger in and out of her ass.

"Ok... I'll give him points for that..." Natalya smirks as she continues to

Beth licks her lips as she looks down at Cena as she rocks on her feet to
push back against Cena's finger inside of her ass, while she steadily works
the strap-on into his mouth.

Cena glances up at The Glamazon as he bobs his head on Beth's strap-on as she
thrusts it into his mouth while he lightly fucks her ass with a finger from
his left hand.

Beth presses her fingers into the back of John Cena's head and deeply shoves
the strap-on into his mouth, with the head of the strap-on smacking against
the back of his mouth.

"Gahhhh ahhhh!" Cena gags again on Beth's strap-on but not as loudly as
before due to his gradual adjusting to taking it deep into his mouth.

The former twelve-time World Champion continues to finger-fuck Beth's ass as
Natalya licks her lips before chanting in a teasing way, "Cena Sucks! Cena

Cena lifts his head up off of Beth's saliva coated strap-on and grins a bit,
"Sure... in for a penny... in for a pound..." Cena says before asking, "Guess
doggy style is best for this?"

"Oh yeah baby... it is! It lets Beth get really deep!" Natalya says with a
wide grin.

"Alright then..." Cena says as he turns around on the bed and gets on all

Beth smirks and kneels down behind John Cena. "'re in for a
pounding..." Beth says as she moves her left hand against his nicely toned
ass before bringing her right hand down to smack his ass.

Cena looks back at Beth after she smacks his toned ass, "Well I'm as ready as
I'll ever be..." Cena says.

Beth smirks before she spreads John Cena's toned ass cheeks apart to expose
his asshole before she firmly pushes the strap-on half way into his ass.

"Ahhhhh god damn...." Cena groans and grits his teeth as Beth Phoenix invades
his ass with her strap-on.

"Too much Cena?" Natalya asks.

"Ahhhh I'm... not complaining..." Cena groans as Beth pushes the strap-on
further into asshole.

Beth licks her teeth and rocks forward on her knees to push into the strap-on
deeper into his ass. "Yeah...take it like a man, Cena..."

"Ahhhh fuck..." Cena groans as Beth thrusts the strap-on completely into his
ass before she begins to pull it back before thrusting it forward again.

" like being a bitch, don't you?" Beth asks with a smirk as she
starts to aggressively pump the strap-on into his ass.

"Ahhhh.... mmmm... I wouldn't say that... mmmm..." John Cena grunts as Beth
hammers his ass with firm, swift and deep thrusts.

Natalya licks her lips, "I'll give him credit Beth... he is taking it without
complaining... not like how Miz did last Saturday..." Natalya laughs.

Beth grits her teeth as she sharply drives the strap-on into Cena's ass.
"Oh...he'll cry...they all do..." Beth groans as she firmly works the strap-

"Mmmmm.... ahhh..." Cena grunts as he holds his upper body up with his
powerful arms before he begins to rock back firmly against The Glamazon,
causing his toned ass and thighs to collide against Beth's waist and thighs.

"Mmmmm...oh like it, don't you!? You fuckin' like it!" Beth snaps
as she pumps the strap-on into his ass.

"Mmmmmm shit... it's not so bad... ahhhh once you get use it..." Cena groans
as he pushes back against The Glamazon. Even though he's on all fours, the
force of Cena's backward movements nearly cause Beth to unintentionally pull
out of his asshole.

Beth narrows her eyes and grits her teeth as she seems to lose her momentum
of dominance as Cena works back against the strap-on.

Natalya smirks a bit, "What's wrong Beth? Cena too much for you?" Natalya
says teasingly as she watches her sister of destruction try and regain her
momentum as she fucks Cena's toned ass.

Beth Phoenix turns her head slowly and delivers a fierce glare to Natalya.
"What!?" Beth snaps as she suddenly jerks the strap-on out of Cena's ass.

Natalya laughs a bit, "Just looked like you lost your pace..." Natalya says.

Cena shrugs his shoulders as he sits up on his knees, "Well it wasn't that
bad... did get a nice idea of what is it like for the other girls when I
fucked them in the ass..." Cena says.

Beth presses her lips firmly together as she moves off of the bed and starts
to approach Natalya. "What did you say to me!?"

Natalya smirks a bit, "First off Beth don't yell at me... and second I said
it looked like you lost your pace while fucking Cena's ass..."

"I'll do whatever I want...I'm the Divas Champion!" Beth says before she
grabs Natalya by the hair and shoves her down to the floor.

"Ahh! What the fuck!" Natalya shouts as The Glamazon yanks on her hair which
keeps Natalya from getting a chance to stand up.

Beth turns her head to look at John Cena. "You're gonna learn that nobody
talks down to the Glamazon..." Beth says before she firmly pushes Natalya
back to floor and kneels down, spreading her friend's legs about before she
roughly pushes the strap-on into Natalya's pussy.

"You talking to me or Nattie?" Cena asks with a bit of shock.

"Beth... ahhh you bitch! Mmmm!" Natalya moans as The Glamazon begins to
thrust the strap-on in and out of her cunt.

Beth smirks and looks up at Cena. "We're teaching Nattie to learn place!"
Beth snaps as she starts to deeply work the strap-on into Natalya.

"We?" Cena asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Ohhhh fuck... ahhh Beth this isn't fucking funny!" Natalya yells and moans.

Beth nods her head and laughs "Yes! We! Now get down here and shove your dick
in her mouth!"

"Ahhh what?!" Natalya moans in shock and lust as Beth hammers her twat. John
Cena smirks a bit, "Well only fair..." Cena says as he moves off the bed and
approaches Beth and Natalya. Kneeling next to Natalya, Cena lifts her head
up, giving her a closer look of his massive cock.

"Ohhhhh ohh fuck... that's.... fucking... MMMM!" Natalya is cut off as Cena
invades her mouth with his huge cock.

Beth licks her lips as she firmly pumps the strap-on into Natalya's pussy,
while she watches her bobbing her head on Cena's cock.

"Mmmmmm.... ahhh..." Cena moans as Natalya lustfully bobs her head on his
large, meaty cock.

"Mmmmmm!" Natalya moans as she takes Cena's cock deeply into her mouth as she
starts to grind her hips to push against Beth's strap-on.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhh yeah...Nattie loves getting double teamed..." Beth says with
a moan.

"Ahhh I can see that..." Cena moans as Natalya sucks and slurps on his cock
while she raises her legs to wrap them around Beth's waist as The Glamazon's
drills her cunt.

Beth places her hands down onto Natalya's toned and tanned stomach as she
smoothly and swiftly pumps the strap-on in and out of her pussy.

"Mmmmm shit.... ahhhh..." John Cena moans as Natalya slobbers on his massive

"Mmmmm! Mmmmm!" Natalya moans as she bucks her hips against Beth as The
Glamazon's skillfully pounds her twat.

Beth grits her teeth as she works the strap-on in and out of Natalya's pussy,
sending her forward on the surface of the floor.

"Mmmmmmm!" Natalya moans loudly and arches her back as Beth rams the strap-on
all the way into cunt while her mouth is stuffed with John Cena's huge dick.

"You want to fuck her, John?" Beth asks with a smirk.

Cena smirks at Beth, "Sure..." Cena nods his head as he begins to pull his
cock out of Natalya's mouth.

"Ohhhh fuck.... ohhh fuck!" Natalya moans lustfully even as Beth slows down
her thrusts.

"You ready, Nattie?" Beth asks as she eases the strap-on out of her pussy.

Natalya nods her head, "Oh yeah I am... I want Cena's huge fucking cock..."
Natalya says sounding more like one of the 'Barbie Divas' that she and Beth

"Well how about you get on top... so Beth can fuck your ass..." Cena
suggests, and Natalya bites her lip and widens her eyes, as she's clearly
reluctant to let The Glamazon fuck her ass.

Beth raises an eyebrow and smirks. "That's not a bad idea..."

"Now... Beth... come on... we agreed.... whoa!" Natalya yells out as Cena
lifts her up from the floor and takes her to the bed where he lies down and
lowers the Hart Legacy down onto his massive cock. "Ohhhh SHIT!" Natalya
yells out as the largest cock in the WWE invades her pussy.

Beth laughs a bit. "Oh, sister....I know you can take it up the ass..." Beth
says as she moves behind Natalya and pushes the strap-on into her ass.

"Ohhhhhh shit... ohhh FUCK!" Natalya moans loudly as The Glamazon begins to
aggressively fuck her ass from behind while John Cena firmly thrusts up into
her pussy.

" like it know it..." Beth says as she firmly pumps into
Natalya's nicely juicy ass, causing her to rock forward on Cena's cock.

"Ohhhhh my... god... ohhh fuck..." Natalya moans as Beth pulls her backwards
on Cena's cock in order to bury to strap-on deep in her ass.

"Mmmmm ahhhh yeah... ahhhh..." Cena groans as he places his hands on
Natalya's thighs as he pops his cock repeatedly up into Natalya's cunt.

Beth rocks forward on her feet as she pushes the strap-on deeper into
Natalya's juicy ass, with her pussy grinding down on Cena's cock.

"Oh fuck ohhh fuck ohhhhh fuck!" Natalya moans loudly as she rocks back and
forth on John Cena's huge cock while The Glamazon hammers her asshole.

Beth Phoenix grits her teeth as she holds onto Natalya's nicely curved and
juicy hips as she works the strap-on deeper into her juicy ass, rocking her
forward on Cena's cock.

"Ohhhhh ohhhh ohhhhhh fuck!" Natalya moans as her pussy starts to tighten as
she cums on John Cena's upward thrusting cock while Beth Phoenix' deeply
fucks her thick Canadian ass.

Beth smirks and slowly pulls the strap-on out of Natalya's ass and watches
her rock back and forth on Cena's shaft.

"Ohhh shit... ohhh fuck..." Natalya moans as she slows down her movements as
she rocks on Cena's slightly throbbing cock that is now coated with her

"Mmmm guess that was a bit too much for her..." Cena says jokingly.

"No... it wasn't..." Natalya says with an exhausted tone before Cena lifts
her off of his shaft.

Beth Phoenix presses her lips together and pushes Natalya aside and kneels
down in front of John Cena, firmly gripping his cock with her left hand.

Natalya lays on the bed next to Cena as he sits up and grins down at Beth as
she keeps a firm grip on his cock which is coated with Natalya's cum.

Beth tosses her blond hair back and lowers her head, opening her mouth, to
take his cock. Beth presses her lips firmly around his cock and starts to
roughly bob her head to suck on his cock.

"Mmmmm shit...." Cena groans as Beth aggressively bobs her head on his
massive throbbing cock.

"Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmm! MMMMMMMM!" Beth moans loudly as she dominates Cena's cock
with her mouth, her lips grinding roughly against his shaft.

"Ahhhhh damn... mmmmm fuck...." Cena moans as he watches The Glamazon suck
and slurp as hard as possible on his pulsating cock.

Beth places her hands onto his muscular waist and swiftly bobs her head back
and forth, slapping her tongue against his thick shaft, while roughly bobbing
her head.

"Ahhhh shit... mmmmm damn Beth... haven't had head like this in a while..."
Cena moans signaling to The Glamazon that the leader of the CeNation enjoys
her aggressive style.

Beth lifts her eyes and glares up at Cena before she sharply turns her head
to grind her lips as she repeatedly drops her head back and forth on his

"Mmmmm..." John Cena smiles down at Beth Phoenix as his cock throbs more
intensely within her mouth before eventually he starts to cum. Cena's first
release of spunk floods The Glamazon's mouth instantly, catching her a bit
off guard by the amount of cum he unloaded.

Beth holds her lips tightly around his shaft and lets the warm cum flood to
the back of her mouth to swallow it.

"Mmmmmm...." John Cena groans as The Glamazon keeps his cock within her mouth
until he's completely finished cumming.

Beth lifts her head off of Cena's cock and smirks at him as she wipes the
sides of her mouth clean of cum with her hand.

"I'll say this Beth... that was... wild to say the least..." Cena says with a
grin before he hears Natalya snoring as the Canadian Diva has passed out.

Beth narrows her eyes and glares at Cena. "Just'll always

"Well as I said before... everyone's entitled to their opinion..." Cena


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