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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Desperate Times Calls For Cougar Measures
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

As her clients Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler face Zack Ryder, Evan Bourne
and Kofi Kingston during the September 26, 2011 episode of RAW Supershow,
Vickie Guerrero is rushing around the backstage area of Kansas City,
Missouri's Sprint Center, looking for a partner for her clients to make the
match that is taking place three on three.

Vickie grits her teeth and shakes her head. "I cannot believe Teddy would do
this!" Vickie says with anger as she franticly glances around the backstage
area in desperate search for a tag team partner for her clients Jack Swagger
and Dolph Ziggler, with not much time to spare. Vickie's head stops as her
eyes locked on the Celtic Warrior, Sheamus, exiting one of the locker rooms
backstage. "Sheamus!" Vickie calls out before she quickly starts to approach
him. "Excuse me! Sheamus!"

The red-haired Celtic Warrior looks at Vickie Guerrero, "What do you want?"
Sheamus asks as he looks down at Vickie.

Vickie softens her smile and slyly glances up at Sheamus. ", my,
my...Sheamus...have you been working out?" Vickie says as she places her
hands onto his strong arms.

Sheamus raises an eyebrow, "Listen fella, if this isn't important, I'm going
to be very annoyed and may take it out on Dolph Ziggler..."

Vickie eyes widen slightly and she quickly shakes her head. "No! Don't do is important!" Vickie says before she points toward the direction
of the arena where the ring is. "I need you to come with me right now! You're
going to be Dolph and Jack's tag team partner..."

Sheamus laughs, "I've already competed... and I have no interest in helping
those two out..." Sheamus says before he moves past Vickie.

"What!?" Vickie snaps. "Hey! Where do you think you're going! EXCUSE ME!"
Vickie yells after Sheamus as he continues to walk away from the irate
resident cougar of the WWE.

"Excuse me, you mind getting out of the way?" Alex Riley says as he comes out
of the locker room behind Vickie.

Vickie turns her head around and looks at Alex Riley standing behind her.
Vickie narrows her eyes into a glare and starts to turn around. "Do you know
who...." Vickie suddenly pauses and her eyes lighten up with a thought as she
smirks a bit. "Oh Alex!" Vickie says with a laugh before she places her hands
to her chest. "I'm so sorry...I didn't realize I was in the way..." Vickie
says, but remains standing in front of Alex Riley, blocking his path.

"Right... well move it..." Alex says as he tries to step around Vickie who
moves to block him again.

Vickie Guerrero raises her hands up and nearly touches his tanned, muscular
chest. "Alex...A-Ry..." Vickie says with a smile. "Wait...please, just listen
to me for a minute..."

"I'm not interested in becoming one of your clients... can't imagine who
would..." Alex says as he steps to his left to try and get past Vickie again

Vickie narrows her eyes and glares at Alex Riley. "I don't want you as a
client!" Vickie snaps. "Vickie Guerrero manages winners...something you are
not!" Vickie says before she opens her mouth in shock realize what she just
said. "Wait...Alex...I need a big, big, big favor..." Vickie says as she
places her hands onto his arms. "I need you to go out there and be the tag
team partner for Dolph and Jack..."

Alex pauses, thinks for a moment and then smiles, "As fun as that sounds, I'm
looking forward to see those two get their butts kicked..." Alex says as he
steps to his right and then quickly steps to his left to get around Vickie.

Vickie turns around and watches Alex Riley as he starts to walk away from
her. "Don't you dare walk away from me! I am Vickie Guerrero!"

"I don't care if you're Michelle Obama, don't block the doorway..." The voice
of Ezekiel Jackson says from behind Vickie.

Vickie Guerrero turns around and looks at Ezekiel Jackson. "Excuse me!?"

"You're excused..." Ezekiel Jackson says as he places a hand on Vickie
Guerrero and moves her to the right so that he can continue on his way.

Vickie Guerrero opens her mouth in shock as the powerful Ezekiel Jackson
continues on his way without giving her a chance to desperately plead with
him to be the tag team partner for Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Vickie yells and stomps her left foot down to the ground with

"What's your problem?" Mason Ryan, wearing wrestling trunks, asks as he comes
down the hallway from the direction of the trainer's room.

Vickie presses her lips together and places her hands onto her hips as she
looks at Mason Ryan as a sly smirk forms on her face. "Mason Ryan..."

"Aye, that's me," The powerful Welsh Superstar says as he looks down at

Vickie licks her lips and she starts to approach the impressively muscular
Superstar. "Wow,'re definitely massive..." Vickie says as she
glances over his body, nodding her head with approval.

"Thank you, do you need something?" Mason asks as he folds his powerful arms.

Vickie smirks and nods her head as she places her hands onto his impressively
massive and muscular, tanned chest. "You're so polite...Mason..." Vickie says
as she moves her hands. "How would you like to make a big impact tonight on

Mason pauses before saying, "I'm listening..."

Vickie Guerrero smirks. "My two clients, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler need
a partner...and if you would be so kind enough to team with them...we'll
you'd be in for a great deal of perks..."

"Such as?" Masons asks.

Vickie pauses for a moment "Well...uhhhh..." Vickie bites down on her bottom
lip. "What would you want?"

"Mae hyn yn mynd i fod yn dda" Mason says in his native Welsh language before
saying, "Since you are trying to suck up to me to help Jack and
about you... as the saying goes, suck my dick..." Mason says.

Vickie Guerrero opens her mouth in shock as her eyes widen. "Excuse me!?"
Vickie slightly snaps before she takes a deep breath and clears her throat.
" that what you really want?"

"You want me to help you... then you do it," The powerful Welsh Superstar
stars confidently.

Vickie smirks a bit and then nods her head. "Fine..." Vickie says as she
moves her hands down Mason Ryan's massive and muscular, tanned chest to his
solid stomach. "I'll do that for you Mason..." Vickie says before she smirks
wickedly and removes her hands from his stomach, taking a step back. "And
then after Dolph and Jack win the match, you can have all of this!" Vickie
says as she motions with her hands to her nicely curved, more slender body.

Mason smirks and then steps around Vickie to open the locker room door that's
behind her. After seeing no one is inside, "In you go..." Mason says to

Vickie presses her lips proudly together and walks into the locker room with
Mason Ryan following her in. Vickie rubs her hands together and smirks
proudly as turns around to face Mason Ryan. "You've made a very smart
decision, Mason..." Vickie says before she starts to lower herself down onto
her knees on the locker room floor.

Mason Ryan just smirks down at Vickie as he closes the locker room door
before he lowers his wrestling trunks to reveal his large meaty cock.

Vickie's manipulative and deceiving eyes widen at the sight of Mason's
exposed cock. Vickie licks her lips as she places her left hand around his
cock and starts to work her hand along his shaft, feeling him start to
instantly harden.

"Mmmm..." Mason groans as Vickie smoothly moving her hand back and forth
along the length of his pole.

Vickie spits some of her saliva down onto the head of Mason Ryan's cock
before she raises her hand, placing the palm of her hand on the head of his
cock as she rubs the saliva on the surface and then down the length of his

"Ahhh.." Mason groans as Vickie spreads her saliva over his cock as she works
her left hand on his now fully hardened dick.

Vickie spits a bit more saliva onto the head of Mason Ryan's cock and this
time lowers her head as she uses her tongue to brush the saliva around the
head of his cock.

"Mmmmm... ahhh..." Mason moans as Vickie slides her tongue over the head of
his cock.

Vickie slyly glances up at Mason Ryan before she parts her lips and takes his
cock into her mouth, wrapping her lips just beneath the head of his cock.
"Mmmmmm..." Vickie moans with delight as she starts to bob her head on his
cock, while keeping her left hand on the base of his shaft.

"Ahhhh..." Mason groans as Vickie bobs her head smoothly on his rock hard

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm..." Vickie moans as she places her right hand up onto his
muscular waist as she smoothly bobs her head to suck on his cock, taking him
slightly deeper into her mouth.

Mason places his hands on his muscular waist was Vickie bobs her head back
and forth on the upper half of his cock.

Vickie presses her lips tighter around his large shaft as she steadily bobs
her head, wetting his shaft with her saliva as she scoots forward on her
knees in an attempt to take him deeper into her mouth.

"Ahhhhh..." Mason Ryan groans as Vickie bobs her head on his cock as she
manages to take over half of his cock past her lips.

"Mmmmmmmm..." Vickie deeply moans as she lowers her left hand to his ballsack
and starts to rub the large sack, while she steadily bobs her head on the
upper half on his cock, with her wet saliva dripping down.

"Ahhhh... mmmm..." Mason groans as Vickie sucks and slurps on his cock while
she rubs his large balls with her left hand.

Vickie lifts her eyes and slyly glances up at Mason Ryan as she rocks her
head forward on his cock, with her lips grinding against his shaft.

"Mmmmmm..." Mason Ryan licks his lips as Vickie manages to fit a bit more of
his cock into her warm saliva dripping mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm!" Vickie moans around Mason's cock as she places both of her
hands onto his muscular waist and starts to briskly bob her head with her
lips smoothly brushing against his meaty shaft.

"Mmmmm ahhhh... mmmm... Mason groans as Vickie continues to increase her pace
as she sucks his large Welsh cock.

Vickie turns her head slightly on Mason's cock and lowers her head at an
angle as she continues to steadily suck on his impressive cock.

Mason smirks as Vickie bobs her head on his rock hard cock which is gradually
starting to throb within her mouth.

"Mmmmmmmm..mmmmmmm..." Vickie moans as she lowers her head further down on
Mason's cock, while slapping her tongue against the bottom side of his shaft.

"Awwww... mmmmm..." Mason Ryan groans as Vickie Guerrero sucks and slurps on
his cock as it pulsates more noticeably inside her mouth.

Vickie raises an eyebrow and slyly glances up at Mason as she swiftly and
repeatedly bobs her head on his cock, feeling him pulsating against her lips.

"Mmmmmm ahhhh..." Mason grunts as he begins to cum inside of Vickie's mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmm..." Vickie moans softly as she holds her lips around his cock and
gently bobs her head as she milks the cum from his shaft.

"Mmmmmm ahhhh..." Mason Ryan groans as Vickie milks every drop of cum from
his erupting shaft with her mouth.

After swallowing his cum, the resident cougar of the WWE lifts her head off
of his cock and licks her lips. Vickie raises her left hand and wipes the
corners of her mouth with her fingers.

Mason smirks, "Now... I'll go get involved in that tag match..." Mason says
to Vickie.

Vickie smirks and stands up from kneeling on the locker room floor. "Let's go
stick it to that idiot Zack Ryder and those pathetic losers of Air Boom!"

* * *

After shocking the WWE Universe by laying out Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler
to help Zack Ryder, Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston win, Mason Ryan returns to
the backstage area where WWE's Joey Styles is waiting to interview him,
"Mason...can we get a few words about what you did just now?"

Mason smirks, "I'm ready to take on the world Joey..." The Welsh Powerhouse

"But why lay out your own teammates? Granted the WWE Universe approves of you
sticking it to Vickie Guerrero..." Joey says.

"Joey... I had a plan, and it was obviously different than what Vickie, Jack
and Dolph thought it was, but I knew what I was doing... that's all I'll say
about that for now..." Mason says before he continues on his way.


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