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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Everything's Cool When You're RVD
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

Following his victory over WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin on the
September 4, 2001 broadcast of RAW IS WAR, WWF Hardcore Champion Rob Van Dam,
wearing his wrestling singlet, is returning to the backstage area of Toronto,
Ontario's Air Canada Centre as the 12,000 fans in attendance chant his name.
With a smile, RVD casually walks to where the Alliance locker rooms are
located and as he approaches his destination, Debra steps in front of him,
blocking his way, "Dude... I nearly just walked right into you..." RVD says
with his usual laid-back California-style attitude.

Debra raises an eyebrow and looks at Rob Van Dam, before she crosses her arms
against her large chest. "Ya'll messed up big time tonight!" Debra says in a
scolding tone, dressed in a pair of tight fitting black leather pants, a
tight fitting Austin 3:16 leather vest.

RVD raises an eyebrow and grins, "Really? What makes you say that?" Rob asks.

"You embarrassed Steve! He is going to be so pissed off...who the hell do
ya'll think you are embarrassing my husband!" Debra yells as she boldly gets
into RVD's face.

RVD shrugs and smirks a bit, "Dude, it's not my fault that Austin got
distracted by Angle out there, but it's all cool, cause a win for RVD is a
win everyone can enjoy..." RVD says as he does not seem at all bothered by
Debra yelling at him.

Debra presses her lips together and shakes her head. "Don't you have any
respect for what my husband has done for you and the rest of the Alliance!?"

RVD chuckles a bit, "Listen Debbie... it's kind of like this, for years, I've
had people knocking on my door for me to appear on Monday Nights, because I
am not just a show stealer, I'm the whole damn show... I go out there, people
want to see me win, and that's what I do because I'm Rob... Van... Dam..."
RVD says with a mix of confidence and laid back-ness while he points to

Debra opens her mouth in shock. "What did you just call me!?"

"Debbie... that's your name isn't it? Since Austin couldn't hit me with the
stunner, I know I'm thinking right..." RVD grins.

"The name is..." Debra pushes and presses her left index finger into his
chest. "Debra!"

"Debbie... Debra... whatever dude," Rob Van Dam says as he shrugs his
shoulders, "Don't be mad at me just cause I'm... better than Stone Cold...
that I'm... cooler than Stone Cold... and that... the people like me more
than Stone Cold..." The former ECW Television Champion says.

Debra narrows her eyes and glares at RVD. "First off...I'm not a dude! I'm a
classy lady..." Debra pauses and arrogantly smirks. "Hell...I'm the First
Lady of the Alliance!"

"Ok dudette..." RVD shrugs his shoulder, "I know this, last I checked it was
Stephanie that was the number one lady in the Alliance, she knows that RVD,
which is me, is the Superstar that everyone wants to see, regardless if they
like the WWF, like the Alliance, because I am the entire show..."

"Well...I don't think you're that great..." Debra says with a smirk.

"That's your problem," Rob Van Dam says, "If you want to stay on the
coattails of a guy who's star is fading, that's cool, but there ain't a
faster rising star than yours truly..." RVD says as he points at himself with
both thumbs.

Debra shakes her head. "I can't wait until Steve gets his hands on you"

"That's cool, I'll just beat him again... no big deal," RVD says, shocking
Debra with how easily he's dismissing the though of her husband going after
him, "Now unless you're gonna do something, I need to go get a shower..."

" walk away Rob...cause Steve...he's gonna fuck you up real bad!"
Debra yells.

Rob smirks as he steps around Debra, "Debbie, you need to either smoke some
weed or get laid, cause you are stressed out, you need to be like me, where
everything's cool regardless... and besides, since I've been here, the only
guy that actually has been a challenge is that Jeff Hardy kid, and he wasn't
much of a challenge at all..." RVD says.

"Oh yeah! Well I bet you couldn't last a minute with me!" Debra yells

RVD smirks, "Ok Debbie... well it appears you got a choice... either go put
an ice bag on Stone Cold or find out why I'm the whole fucking show..."

"I bet you're all hype..."

* * *

A short time later in Rob Van Dam's locker room, Debra is finishing
undressing with her back towards RVD who has removed his wrestling singlet
and is stroking his hardening cock. The longest reigning singles champion of
the 1990's smirks as Debra turns around and gasps when she sees the length
and thickness of his cock.

Debra presses her lips together and clears her throat. "Ummmm...I'm not
impressed..." Debra says as she is unable to keep her eyes from locking with
his exposed cock.

"Dude... that lie is more see through than Paulie's..." RVD says as he
continues to lightly stroke his large, thick cock as he steps towards Debra.

Debra shakes her head " still won't be able to handle a classy
woman like myself..."

"You just gonna talk?" RVD asks with a cocky smirk as he lets go of his now
fully harden cock.

Debra narrows her eyes and glares at RVD for a moment before she lowers
herself down onto her knees in front of him. Debra raises her left hand and
starts to move her hand smoothly along his shaft.

RVD licks his lips and places his hands on his waist as Debra works her left
hand back and forth on his stiff and long cock.

Debra tosses her gorgeous blond hair back and licks her lips before she leans
her head down and starts to guide her wet tongue around the head of his cock.

"Mmmm..." RVD moans as Debra works her soft wet tongue over and around the
head of his rock hard cock as she keeps stroking it with her left hand.

"Mmmmmmmmm...." Debra softly moans as she brushes her tongue skillfully
around the fat head of his cock, swiftly jerking her hand back and forth on
his shaft.

"Ahhhh yeah..." RVD groans as Debra laps her tongue against the top of his
cock as she eagerly strokes the shaft.

Debra spits some saliva onto the head of RVD's cock before she uses her
tongue to move the saliva around the surface, with some of the saliva
dripping down to his shaft and her hand.

The reigning Hardcore Champion smirks as Debra uses her left hand and tongue
to spread her saliva over every inch of his fat and long tool.

Debra parts her luscious lips and takes RVD's impressive cock into her
skilled and soothing mouth. Debra presses her lips around his meaty shaft and
starts to bob her head back and forth on his cock.

"Awwww damn dude..." Rob Van Dam moans as Debra bobs her head back and forth
on his cock while he reaches down to feel up the sides of her large juicy

"Mmmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm..." Debra moans as she bobs her head on RVD's cock
with her luscious lips brushing against his large cock, taking him nicely
deeper into her mouth.

RVD licks his lips as the wife of Stone Cold Steve Austin easily takes half
of his cock into her mouth at any given moment.

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmmm..." Debra moans around RVD's cock, briskly
bobbing her head back and forth, clearly enjoying the ECW star's cock
inside of her mouth.

"Mmmm fuck yeah..." Rob Van Dam moans as Debra is eagerly sucking and
slurping on his cock, causing her saliva to drip down the length of his shaft
to his large ballsack.

Debra removes her hand from RVD's shaft in order to place both of her hands
onto his waist as she takes his cock deeper into her manipulatively hot

"Mmmmm fuck..." RVD moans at blonde haired Diva attempts to deep throat his
entire cock.

"Mmmmmmmmmm! GAHHHHHH!" Debra moans and deeply gags around RVD's cock
as the head of his shaft barely touches the back of her mouth.

"Mmmmm shit guess ol' Stone Cold ain't got much length...." RVD says with a
smirk as he sees and hears Debra gagging on his impressive cock.

Debra narrows her eyes and glares up at RVD before she unwraps her lips and
lifts her head off of his rock hard, long shaft. "That is none of your

"So I'm right..." RVD says as he bends down to pull Debra up to her feet.
Guiding the 1999 Manager of Year over to the locker room bench, RVD waits as
Debra kneels on it before pushing his large, thick cock into Debra's hot wet
and tight twat.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh...." Debra moans and grits her teeth as she feels his cock
thrusting into her pussy, causing her to move forward on her feet.

"Ahhhhh yeah..." RVD moans as he holds on to Debra's hips as he pumps his
cock steadily but firmly in and out of her tight cunt.

"Ohhhhhhhh...ohhhhhh yeah..." Debra moans and rocks on her knees to push back
against RVD's thrusting cock.

"Mmmmm fuck yeah ahhh..." RVD groans as he pumps his long and thick cock
deeply into Debra's pussy as she rocks on top of the locker room bench.

"Ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhh..." Debra moans as her gorgeously tanned body moves back
against his cock, with her nicely rounded and tanned ass pushing against his
waist as he thrusts into her.

The Battle Creek, Michigan native licks his lips as he pounds Debra's pussy
at a quicker face, causing her rock forward with each of his deep thrusts.

"Ohhhhhhhh....mmmmm fuck..." Debra moans and turns her head to look back at
RVD as she pushes back forcing his cock deeper into her.

"Mmmmm see that's why I'm the whole fuckin' show..." RVD grunts as he deep
drills Debra's snatch with hard and brisk thrusts.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhhh..." Debra moans as her ass loudly smacks back
against his waist as he continues to deeply and firmly plow into her from

The most-coveted ECW Superstar of the Monday Night Wars pulls out of Debra's
wet pussy and turns her over so that she's laying on the bench. After
spreading her legs, RVD moves in close so that he can guide his cock back
into her pussy.

"Mmmmmmmmm...." Debra moans as she slides forward on the bench as RVD starts
to smoothly and swiftly pump into her wet pussy, while she wraps her smooth,
tanned and gorgeous legs around his waist as he pumps into her.

RVD smirks as Debra grinds herself against his pistoning shaft as he keeps a
swift pace of pumping his cock deeply into her pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh yeah...ohhhhh...." Debra moans and licks her lips as she
grinds her pussy against his shaft and pushes against him, while he thrusts
into her.

Placing his hands on the forty-year-old Diva's gorgeous thighs, Rob Van Dam
increases the force of his thrusts, driving his cock all the way into Debra's
twat so hard that Debra has to use her legs to pull herself towards RVD.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhhh...deeper...ohhhhhh!" Debra moans as she pulls him
further into her wet snatch by keeping her legs tightly pressed around his

"Mmmmmm ahhh yeah... ahhhh..." The thirty-year-old Superstar grunts as he
drives his cock sharply into the pussy of Stone Cold Steve Austin's blond
haired and large breasted wife.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhh fuck...ohhhhhhh!" Debra moans as her stunning body
jolts forward as he deeply plows his cock into her.

The most popular Superstar grits his teeth as he continues to show off why he
is the self proclaim 'Whole Damn Show' as he relentlessly rams his cock into
Debra's cunt.

"Ohhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhhh...." Debra moans and grits her teeth as her large,
juicy tits bounce as he deeply pumps into her, moving her against the surface
of the bench.

RVD reaches behind himself and pulls Debra's legs from around his waist as he
plows his cock repeatedly into Debra's cunt. Pulling Debra up from the bench,
RVD leans back until he's laying on it with Debra on top of him.

Debra places her hands onto his nicely toned and tanned chest as she starts
to smoothly and swiftly rock forward on his cock, perfectly moving as she
rides his shaft.

"Ahhhh yeah..." RVD groans as he resumes thrusting his cock into Debra's
pussy, this time pumping upward into her as she rocks back and forth on his

Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhh..." Debra moans and smoothly rocks back on
RVD's cock, bouncing when he firmly thrusts up into her.

RVD watches with a grin on his face as Debra's tits sway from side to side as
she rocks and bounces on his stiff pistoning cock.

"Ohhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhh yeah...mmmmmmm..." Debra moans as she grinds forward on
his shaft, bouncing each time he thrusts up into her wet pussy.

"Ahhhh yeah mmmmm fuck..." Rob Van Dam groans as he quickens the pace of his
upward thrusts as Debra grinds herself on his dick.

"Ohhhhhhhh.....mmmmmmm yeah..." Debra moans and throws her head back as she
lustfully groans while rocking forward on his cock.

RVD moves his hands from Debra's hips and places them on her large juicy tits
as she wildly rides his large meaty cock as he shows little to no sign of
slowly down his brisk upward thrusts.

"Mmmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhh!" Debra moans and sharply grinds her wet pussy down
on his rock hard cock, as she bounces with each of his deep thrusts.

"Ahhhhh mmm yeah ahhhh..." RVD grunts as he plays with Debra's sweat coated
tits as she rides his cock which is starting to throb slightly.

"Ohhhhhhhh...." Debra moans and grits her teeth as her sweat covered body
tenses as her pussy tightens around his shaft and starts to cum.

"Ahhhh yeah... mmm yeah dude..." RVD groans as Debra's pussy juices flow all
over his throbbing cock.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh..." Debra moans as she rocks back and forth on RVD's
cock, while her wet juices flow on his cock.

RVD lets Debra slow down her pace as she rides his throbbing cock before he
lifts her off of his shaft. After sitting up and setting Debra on the floor
of his locker room, RVD begins to stroke his cock as he stands up.

Debra presses her lips together and looks up at RVD, watching him as he
strokes his throbbing cock. "Mmmmmmm...give it to me, Rob..."

"Mmmm fuck..." The reigning Hardcore Champion groans as he starts to cum, and
he aims his cock down at Debra's large juicy tits, coating them with his

Debra raises an eyebrow and slyly smirks up at RVD as his warm sprays onto
her juicy tits and drips down.

"Ahhhh damn... mmmmm fuck..." RVD groans as he continues to stroke his cock
until he's finished cumming.

Debra licks her lips and looks up at RVD. "Now...don't get too excited or
anything, but I'll make sure Steve calms down after you beating him

"Dude, doesn't matter if he's mad or not, cause when you're Rob Van Dam...
everything's cool..." RVD grins.


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