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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Gym...Tan...Bangin' Towards Mania
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

Following the WrestleMania 27 Press Conference at New York City's Hard Rock
Caf‚ on March 30, 2011, the Rated R Superstar Edge, wearing a black suit and
button shirt, is walking John Cena, wearing a gray suit with a blue shirt and
tie, away from Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson who is on the press conference stage
taking additional questions from the media. "Save it Cena... take it out on
Miz on Sunday..." Edge says.

John Cena looks at his often-time rival, "Now that's a switch you're trying
to keep me calm?" Cena asks with a big a laugh.

"Well since I can't touch Del Rio until Sunday, it seems like a good use of
my time..." Edge smirks.

"Ah... I thought chasing Snooki would have been higher up on your list," Cena
says jokingly.

"Oh it is... believe me it is..." Edge says and before he can say more,
Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi approaches both him and Cena.

The star of MTV's hit reality show "Jersey Shore", Snooki, dressed in a short
leopard printed skirt and a baggy, wide neck black top that says 'Brunette
Mafia' in gold lettering, presses her lips together as she is carrying her
cell phone in her left hand. "Hey, ya muscleheads...coulda like tell me why
my phone is like gettin' shitty reception in this place?" Snooki asks "I
gotta call my boy Pauly..."

Edge looks at Cena, "She's talking to you... you're the musclehead..." Edge
says with a laugh.

"Cute.." Cena laughs before he looks down at the four-foot-nine-inch tall
reality TV star, "Could be because of all the TV cameras and stuff here...
signals blocking signals..." Cena says with a shrug.

"Damn!" Snooki says with a laugh. "I gotta tell him how awesome it was like
doin' a press conference with you guys!" Snooki says.

"I'm sure he'll see it when he's not... ummm what do you call it, BLT'ing..."
Edge says as he clearly messes up the famous GTL phrase from the Jersey Shore

Snooki places her hands on her curved hips and raises an eyebrow as she looks
at Edge. "What the fuck is BLT'ing?" Snooki asks with a laugh and then nods
her head with realization. "Oh! Are you like talkin' about GTL? Ya know...
gym...tan...laundry! The only three things I do every day!"

John Cena laughs a bit, "You really do laundry every day?" Cena asks

Snooki presses her lips together and looks at John Cena. "Maybe not laundry,
musclehead...but your girl, Snooki, she's always doin' somethin' in the
laundry room!"

"I can think of a few things to do with Snooki in a laundry room...." Edge
says while licking his teeth.

Cena looks at Edge with a slight smirk, "And what your thinking would be a
lot easier to do someplace other than a laundry room...."

Snooki raises an eyebrow and looks at John Cena with a cute, angelic smile.
"If ya are askin' me...sounds like ya know about bangin' all the way Jersey
Shore style, Mr. Musclehead..."

"Hmmmm... what do you think Edge?" Cena asks.

Edge smirks and raises his hand to the same level as Snooki's head, "She does
meet the height requirements to ride the Rated R Superstar..." Edge says as
he playfully teases Snooki.

Snooki raises an eyebrow and looks up at the taller Rated R Superstar.
"Hey...don't underestimate the size baby...ya saw what I did to that blond
bitch when I was on RAW!"

"Yeah I saw... but everyone has gotten her on her back..." Edge replies.

"Yup... Hornswoggle... the time keeper....the janitor..." Cena adds jokingly.

"Damn!" Snooki says with a laugh as she looks at Edge and John Cena. "That
bitch gets around!"

"Yeah she does... so Snooki, you think can handle Mr. Muscles..." Edge says
as he points at Cena before he points to himself, "And the Rated R

Snooki presses her pouty lips together and looks at Edge, and then John Cena,
with her feisty, sassy and beautiful eyes. "Ya talkin' about partyin' hard?"
Snooki asks as she looks then directly at Edge.

Edge smirks, "If that's what you call getting your brains fucked out... then

Snooki bites down on her bottom lip and mischievously glances up at Edge.
"When...I wasn't tryin' to be so blunt...but if that's what you want to talk
it, baby..."

"Then let's get out of here..." Cena grins.

Snooki nods her head and licks her lips slightly. "Sounds like a great idea
to me, Mr. Musclehead..."

* * *

A short time later at Snooki's penthouse suite, John Cena and Edge are taking
off their suit jackets, "Nice pad Snooki..." Cena says as Snooki goes over to
the large stereo system to put on some music.

Snooki smiles at John Cena. "Would ya expect anything less for me?" Snooki
asks with a laugh as she starts to sway her hips to the now loud blaring
music, starting to dance as she were in a night club.

"Nope..." Cena laughs a bit as he undoes his tie and removes it from around
his neck and stuffs it into his pants pocket. Edge starts to unbutton his
shirt as he watches Snooki dance to the music.

Snooki energetically raises her hands up as she starts to bounce on her feet,
swaying her body to the loud music as she expertly night club style dances.
"Do either of ya two dance, baby?"

"Only Superstar I know that dances is doing it on Monday nights on ABC..."
Edge says with a laugh as he removes his shirt while Cena now starts to
unbutton his own shirt.

"Oh come on! I bet you, Mr. Musclehead and you blondie can get down and
dirty!" Snooki says loudly over the music as she turns with her back to Cena
and Edge, eagerly fist pumping the air.

"That we can do..." Cena laughs as he takes off his shirt. Edge goes over to
Snooki and starts to grind against her.

Snooki glances over her shoulder and smirks up at the taller Edge as he
places his hands onto her hips, grinding into her from behind. "Oh yeah! Now
ya got it goin', baby!" Snooki loudly and happily cheers as she sways back
against Edge. John Cena smirks as he walks over to Snooki and gets in front
of her so that Snook is between both himself and the Rated R Superstar.
Snooki smiles as she looks ahead and up to the taller John Cena as she places
her hands onto his impressively muscular chest as she seductively and
perfectly sways to the loud, night club-like music, grinding between Edge and
John Cena.

"You like that Snooki?" Edge asks as he places his hands on her lower back
while Cena places his hands on Snooki's waist.

"Oh! Yeah! You guido boys now how to grind it!" Snooki says with a laugh as
she bobs her head to the music, swaying between Edge and John Cena, with her
backside grinding against the crotch of Edge's pants, while Cena grinds his
muscular front into Snooki's front.

"That's not all we know how to do..." Cena says as he starts to push down
Snooki's skirt as Edge starts to push up Snooki's shirt while they grind
against the Reality TV Superstar. Snooki laughs and tilts her dark haired
head back as she raises her arms up to allow Edge an easier time in removing
her top to expose her nicely rounded, perky tits, while John Cena lowers her
skirt to expose her black panties underneath.

"Those got to go..." Cena grins as he starts to lower Snooki's black panties
from her hips as she steps out of her skirt. Snooki laughs and seductively,
but teasingly sways her hips from side to side as Cena lowers her black
panties, causing a slight struggle for the leader of the CeNation.

"Just rip them off Cena..." Edge laughs a bit. Cena grins at Snooki and
follows Edge's advice by easily ripping Snooki's panties from her hips.

"Hey! Mr. Musclehead! Those fuckin' cost me like a lot of money!" Snooki says
with a laugh.

"Really? They came off real easy..." Cena says innocently as Snooki turns so
that she can feel up the crotches of both him and Cena through the material
of their pants.

Snooki presses her lips together as she stands between Cena and Edge, moving
her hands against the crotches of their pants. Snooki playfully shoots Cena
and glare. "I'm watchin' ya, Mr. Musclehead!" Snooki says and then licks her
lips. " let me see what ya guidos got packin'!"

Cena and Edge both start to unbutton and unzip their pants as Snooki watches
in anticipation. Soon Cena and Edge are lowering their pants, revealing two
really big situations to Snooki as her eyes go wide when she sees Cena and
Edge's extremely thick, over foot long dicks.

"Damn! Those fuckers are huge!" Snooki says with a laugh as she licks her
lips, placing her right hand around Cena's cock and her left hand around
Edge's cock, starting to stroke both of her hands on their shafts.

"Mmmmm.... not to big for you I bet..." Edge grins as he looks down at Snooki
as she jerks him and Cena off.

Snooki laughs and shakes her head. "Shit! I don't know!" Snooki says and
licks her lips with even more anticipation as she moves her hands skillfully
along both shafts.

"Mmmmm fuck..." Cena groans as Snooki works her right hand on his cock while
she does the same with her left hand on Edge's shaft Snooki leans down
slightly and spits some saliva down onto the Cena's cock as she continues to
move her right hand along his shaft, lathering her saliva against it. Snooki
then turns her head and spits some saliva down onto Edge's cock, lathering
the saliva on his shaft with her left hand.

"Ohhh yeah..." Edge moans as Snooki pumps her left first up and down on his
cock to spread her saliva over it while she does the same with her right fist
on Cena's cock.

"Now that's a real Jersey fist pump..." Cena says with a slight laugh as
Snooki jerks him and Edge off.

"Oh yeah! Ya got that right! Fist pump, baby!" Snooki says loudly with a
laugh as she quickly pumps her hands up and down the two shafts.

"Mmmmmm how about we get down to some real pumping?" Edge asks as Snooki
continues to stroke both his and Cena's large dicks.

"That sounds fuckin' awesome!" Snooki says with a nod of her head. Snooki
let's go of both cocks and leads Cena and Edge over to the bed where they
lift her up onto it. Cena kneels on the bed and gets behind Snooki in order
to guide his huge cock into her tight wet pussy while Edge gets in front of
Snooki to line his cock up with her mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmm!" Snooki moans as she presses her lips around Edge's Rated R cock
and starts to smoothly bob her head to eagerly suck on his cock, while she
starts to rock forward on her knees with Cena behind her and thrusting into

"Ahhhh fuck..." Cena moans as he places his strong hands on Snooki's hips as
he thrusts his cock in and out of her pussy. Edge licks his teeth as Snooki
bobs her head swiftly on his cock.

"Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmm!" Snooki moans and lifts her eyes to glance up at Edge as
she steadily bobs her head on his long shaft, working on the upper half,
while firmly placing her hands onto the bed in order to move more smoothly
against Cena's thrusts.

"Ohhhh yeah..." Edge moans as Snooki sucks and slurps on his cock while Cena
is behind her pumping his dick into Snooki's snatch. Snooki gently slaps her
wet tongue against the bottom side of Edge's cock as she bobs her dark haired
head with her pouty lips brushing back and forth. Snooki's nicely rounded,
juicy ass smacks lightly against Cena's muscular waist as he deeply pumps
into her.

"Ahhhhhh awww...." Cena grunts as he firmly rams his cock balls deep into
Snooki's cunt causing her to rock forward as she bobs her head up and down on
Edge's shaft.

"Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmm!" Snooki moans smoothly around Edge's cock and begins
to bob her head at a quicker pace on his Rated R shaft while John Cena's more
quick and firm thrusts encourage her to suck Edge's cock at quicker pace.

"Mmmmm fuck..." Edge moans as Snooki briskly sucks his cock as Cena drills
her from behind. Cena soon pulls out of Snooki's snatch and smacks her thick
juicy ass with his rock hard cock.

"Mmmmmmm! Ohhhhhhhh..." Snooki moans around Edge's cock as she turns her head
slightly, while she sways her nicely juicy as Cena smacks his meaty, rock
cock with it.

"Edge I think she needs to get speared..." Cena smirks as he again smacks
Snooki's ass with his large cock.

"Oh yeah... she's ready for it...' Edge smirks as he starts to pull his cock
out of Snooki's mouth.

Snooki looks up at Edge and presses her pouty lips together in a sassy,
seductive manner after his cock leans her mouth. "I'm gonna get what!?"

"Speared..." Edge grins as he lays down on the bed and Cena proceeds to lift
Snooki up in order to mount her right on Edge's upward pointing cock.

"Mmmmmmmmm! Ohhhh fuck that's a new one! Never heard that before!" Snooki
moans as she eases down on his rock hard cock.

"Mmmmm..." Edge groans as he places his hands on Snooki's hips to lift her up
and down on his cock while he begins to thrust up into her. Snooki bites down
on her bottom lip as she places her hands down onto Edge's toned, tanned
stomach and starts to smoothly bounce on his cock, as he spears his shaft
upward. John Cena spits on the palm of his right hand and slides it over his
huge tool as he kneels between Edge's legs behind Snooki. Cena licks his lips
and smirks as he guides his cock between Snooki's ass cheeks and into her
tight asshole.

"Ohhhhhhhhh! Shit! Mr. Musclehead!" Snooki moans and grits her teeth as she
rocks forward on Edge's cock as Cena guides his cock slowly, but deeply into

"Ahhhhh shit... you don't take in the ass much...." Cena groans as he works
his huge cock slowly in and out of Snooki's ass while Edge pumps up into her

"Mmmmmm...nooo....I'm a good girl..." Snooki moans and laughs as she rocks
between Cena and Edge, feeling both cocks thrusting up into her ass and

"Bullshit! I've seen clips of your show... ahhh you ain't a good girl!" Edge
laughs and groans as he pumps his cock swiftly up into Snooki's snatch while
Cena hammers her ass.

Snooki laughs and licks her lips. "I'm good when I want to be..." Snooki
moans as she rocks forward on Edge's cock, feeling him sharply thrusting up,
while Cena thrusts into her ass.

"Ahhhhh mmmmmm.... and right now ain't one of them times to be good..." Cena
grunts as he thrusts his cock deeply into Snooki's asshole as she bounces on
Edge's tool. Snooki glances over her shoulder and smiles back at John Cena as
she eagerly rocks on Edge's cock in order to push against Cena's cock in her

"Mmmmm fuck.... hey Cena lift her up..." Edge grunts from underneath Snooki.
While still pumping his cock into Snooki's ass, Cena lifts her up off of
Edge's cock so that the Rated R Superstar can get out from under her. Cena
sets Snooki on her knees and continues to drill her ass as Edge stands up on
the bed in order to guide his cock right back into Snooki's mouth. Snooki
seductively glances up at Edge as she presses her lips around his shaft and
begins to eagerly bob her head back and forth, while she rocks back on her
knees with Cena thrusting into her juicy, rounded ass.

"Mmmmmm ahhhhh..." Edge moans as Snooki bobs her head eagerly on his cock
while he places his hands on her head. Cena keeps a firm hold of Snooki's
hips as he pounds her ass with his massive shaft.

"Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Snooki loudly and happily moans around Edge's cock as
she smoothly bobs her head back and forth, lapping her tongue against the
bottom side of his shaft.

"Ohhhh shit... mmmm..." Cena grunts as he drills Snooki's thick juicy ass
with firm hard thrusts. Edge tilts his head back as Snooki sucks and slurps
on his cock.

"Mmmmmmm! Mmmmm!" Snooki moans as she steadily and smoothly lifts and lowers
her head on Edge's cock with her lips brushing back and forth on his shaft,
while rocking back eagerly on her knees to push against Cena's cock as he
drills her tight asshole.

"Mmmmm fuck..." Edge licks his lips as Snooki continues to bob her head
rapidly on his cock while Cena pulls out of her thick juicy ass. Edge soon
pulls his dick out of Snooki's mouth as Cena lays on the bed next to the
reality television star.

Snooki licks her lips and slides her right hand through her smooth, gorgeous
dark hair. "Yeah! Ya hot boys can't get enough of Snooki!" Snooki says as she
moves over toward John Cena.

"I think you can't get enough of us..." Cena grins as Snooki nearly jumps on
his massive cock.

"You think whatever ya want, Mr. Musclehead..." Snooki says and playfully
smirks down at Cena as she lowers herself down onto his rock hard cock.

"Ahhhhh..." Cena groans as Snooki rocks back and forth on his cock.

"I think he's right..." Edge smirks as he gets behind Snooki and he proceeds
to spear her ass with his large stiff dick.

"Mmmmmm...ohhhhhhh...damn! Ya'll are big!" Snooki groans and glances over her
shoulder as she feels Edge's cock slide into her tight asshole as she moves
forward on Cena's cock.

"Ahhhh fuck.... mmmm..." Edge licks his teeth as he drives his cock sharply
into Snooki's asshole while Cena thrusts upward into her cunt.

"Ohhhhhhh yeah...mmmmmm! Mmmmm you guidos are major hunks!" Snooki moans
and closes her eyes as she places her hands down onto Cena's muscular stomach
as she rocks back and forth on his cock with Edge spearing into her ass.

"Mmmmmm shit..." John Cena grunts as he rapidly pumps his shaft up into
Snooki's hot wet pussy as she rocks on his dick to push back against Edge's

"Ohhhhhh yeah! Mmmmmm..." Snooki moans and licks her lips as she moves
swiftly between John Cena and Edge.

"Ahhhh mmmmm..." Edge moans as his cock starts to throb as he hammers
Snooki's ass.

"Awwww damn..." Cena groans as his cock starts to pulsate as he firmly pumps
his tool up into her cunt.

"Mmmmmmm....are ya hunks havin' fun?" Snooki asks with a moan as she bounces
sharply on Cena's cock as Edge spears his cock deeply into her.

"Mmmmm fuck yeah..." Cena groans as Snooki bounces up and down on his
throbbing cock.

"Ahhhhhh!" Edge grunts loudly as he starts to cum inside of Snooki's ass.

Snooki glances over her shoulder and looks back at Edge with a smirk. "Ohhhh
yeah! Give me that juice!"

"Ohhh fuck..." Edge moans as he holds his cock inside of Snooki's ass as he
fills her asshole with his spunk. When he's spent Edge pulls out and Snooki
lifts herself off of Cena's cock and kneels between Cena's powerful legs and
wraps both of her hands around Cena's massive pulsating cock.

"Ohhhh yeah! Ya hunky better have some tasty juice for me!"
Snooki says as she moves her hands up and down his cock before lowers her
head and taking the head of his large cock into her mouth.

"Ahhhh fuck yeah.... mmmmm!" Cena grunts as his cock begins to erupt with
thick warm cum inside of Snooki's mouth as she pumps her hands up and down on
his cock.

"Mmmmmmmmm!" Snooki moans as she closes her eyes and turns her head smoothly
on Cena's cock as the think load of cum sprays into her mouth, which she
happily swallows.

"Ohhh fuck..." Cena moans as Snooki continues to stroke his cock until she's
certain he's spent.

Snooki lifts her head up from Cena's cock and licks her lips. "Now that's how
we party!"

"Snooki I think you're gonna fit right in with the WWE..." Cena grins.

"Fit in... she's setting new standards..." Edge smirks.

Snooki turns her head and looks back at Edge. "No fuckin' way...really?!"

"Yes way... you're practically a Diva already..." Edge says.

"She does have to be a match first... which will be this Sunday," Cena says.

"Me? A Diva!? Shit ya boys are just messin' with me..."

"Well an honorary Diva at the least... you'd have to talk to Trish," Edge

Snooki nods her head. "So...are either of ya hunks up for some more

"Sure... why the hell not," Cena replies

"Awesome! I hope ya boys aren't tired! Cause Snooki was just getting warmed
up!" Snooki says with a laugh.

Edge smirks, "We're WWE Superstars... we don't know the meaning of the word


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