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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:



Life On The Straightedge Part 7: Monday Madness
by Kristi (Kristi_aka@hotmail.com)
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (diceandkristifiles@yahoo.com)

The next morning a little before 9 AM, CM Punk wakes up before his alarm
clock is scheduled to go off and he stretches his arms up over his head. Punk
sits up and looks to his right as Eve Torres is also waking up next to him.
"Mmmm morning Eve..." Punk says.

Eve smiles and slides her left hand through her smooth, dark brown hair as
she cutely glances at CM Punk. "Hey Phil..." Eve says, dressed her black
panties and a white tank top.

"Who would've thought I would've gotten up before you..." CM Punk says with a
slight laugh.

Eve raises an eyebrow and laughs a bit "What's that suppose to mean?" Eve
asks as she pulls the covers on the bed up closer to her upper body.

"Oh you know... you threw a lot into last night..." Punk says with a smile.

Eve bites down on her bottom lip as she wraps the covers around her body
while sitting up. "I didn't hear any complaining..."

"I'm not complaining..." CM Punk says, "I was paying you a compliment..."
Punk laughs.

Eve nods her head "Is that so?" Eve asks with a playful laugh.

"Yeah... that is so..." Punk replies with a smile.

Eve rubs her pouty and soft lips together as she sweetly looks over at CM
Punk. "I had fun last night, Phil...."

"So did I..." Punk smiles, "And if I remember right... you have an evening
flight... and my flight is later this afternoon..." Punk casually says.

Eve smiles a bit. "Yeah...and what's your point?" Eve asks with an adorable
laugh.

"We do got some time to kill...." Punk says.

Eve nods her head a bit. "Yeah...we do..."

"So... you..." Punk starts to say before Eve puts her hands on his chest to
have Punk lay down.

"So...I better get started?" Eve asks with a laugh as she playfully forces
Punk to lay on the bed before she straddles his body.

"Yeah exactly..." Punk laughs before Eve leans down to kiss him.

* * *

After catching a flight from Oklahoma to Pennsylvania, CM Punk is driving in
his rental car from the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton International Airport to the
Wachovia Arena for the evenings tapings of WWE Superstars before the start of
Monday Night RAW as his cell phone starts to ring. Punk pulls over to the
side of the road in order to answer his phone, "Hello?"

"Hey Phil!" The very familiar, sweet voice of Kelly Kelly adorably says over
the phone with a laugh. "You actually answered!"

"Hey Barbie... what's going on? You've been trying to call me?" Punk replies
with a laugh.

"A-Yeah!" Kelly says with a laugh "Like all last night and this morning!"

"Oh well... I was... well you know... like always..." Punk laughs.

"Like always...what?" Kelly asks, her voice sounding of confusion.

"Oh gee Barbie... I see you took our fun from back in the day and threw it
out the window if you've forgotten..." Punk replies with a laugh.

Kelly laughs a bit "I haven't forgotten Phil...but it seems like you forgot
about me..." Kelly playfully teases. "You know I thought once you broke up
with Maria that we'd, you know, be back to how things were..."

"Ohhhhhh..." Punk says, "But I thought you've hooked up with a few guys to be
your steady bed-buddy since then..." Punk says as he teases Kelly.

"Have not!" Kelly replies defensively with a laugh.

"Oh yeah you just happen to be making out with Chris..." Punk laughs.

"That's just making out....I didn't sleep with him"

"That's not what I heard..." Punk says as he teases Kelly.

Kelly pauses for a moment. "Ok...but just Chris...that's all, really..."

"A-ha... sure Barbie..." Punk smiles, "But hey I am at RAW tonight to tape an
angle for Superstars... you want to hook up after the show?" Punk asks.

"I don't know, Phil....things aren't like they used to be..."

"Oh... really? You're not in the mood to hook up?" Punk asks.

"Well...it's not that..." Kelly begins to says before laughing softly. "I
don't like you being a bad guy on TV, Phil...I miss my old Punk..."

Punk laughs a bit, "Hey Barbie, you know I'm only doing it cause the suits
want me to be like that... besides I don't want to say the wrong thing to the
wrong person at the wrong time about my character..."

"Ummm...ok...whatever that means..." Kelly says with a laugh.

"So... do you really don't want to hook up after the show?" Punk asks.

"No...I want to...but I want to make sure its the old 'Punk' I'm getting..."

"Oh it'll be the 'old Punk'..."

Kelly cutely laughs "You promise?"

"Yeah I promise.... but I would like to make sure the exhibitionist shows up
tonight..." Punk says with a teasing laugh.

"Oh...she'll be there too..." Kelly laughs. "So...where do you want to meet
up?"

"How about near the catering area... I'm guessing you're riding with Beth so
we can take my car..."

"The catering area?" Kelly laughs

Yeah... you got a better place?" Punk asks with a laugh

"No...no...that's fine, it's just...are we going to actually hook up there?"
Kelly asks.

"Nah... we're just meeting up there... we'll find a place to hook up..." Punk
smiles, "Just like old times..."

* * *

Backstage at the Wachovia Arena, CM Punk is talking with John Cena near the
catering area, "So Phil... I heard that you and Maria are at each other's
throats again..." Cena laughs a bit.

"Well you know... Maria just doesn't like hearing the truth..." CM Punk says
with a shrug, "But I can't really complain, because when she's in the mood...
nine times out of ten if we're in the same hotel, she'll try and hook up with
me."

Cena shakes his head, "You could be last guy she goes to when that
happens..."

CM Punk smiles, "Well at least I'm always an option for her..."

Cena laughs, "Alright I got to go talk to Randy, me and him got the post-show
match tonight... talk to ya later..."

"See ya John..." Punk says as he and Cena shake hands before Cena walks off.
Punk turns around to check out what's on the catering table when the Chairman
and CEO of the WWE, Vince McMahon enters the catering area. Vince smirks as
he sees Punk and walks up to behind Punk.

"Phil Brooks.... YOU'RE FIRED!" Vince says in his usual over-the-top style as
he does on television.

"Huh?! What?!" Punk jumps as he turns around in shock as he faces Vince
McMahon.

Vince chuckles a bit, "Gotcha kid..." Vince says, indicating that he was just
messing with Punk.

CM Punk nervously laughs, "Good one Mr. McMahon..." Punk says.

Vince McMahon smiles as he pats Punk's right arm, "Always remember to keep an
eye out. Now... what looks good..." Vince says as he steps around Punk to see
what's on the catering table.

* * *

For SmackDown's portion of the WWE Superstars taping, the injured Rated R
Superstar Edge is in the ring with a walking cast around the ankle of his
injured foot as he informs the WWE Universe on how his recovery is going.
"Everyone around here thinks that because every other athlete who's suffered
a torn Achilles tendon end their careers as if that's what's going to happen
to me, but think again, I've had a broken neck, I've come back, I've been
sent to hell, I've come back, I've been married to Vickie Guerrero... and
I've come back... and sooner than..." Edge is then cut off by 'This Fire
Burns' the theme music for CM Punk begins to play as Punk comes from the
back.

**All I've ever wanted was destiny to be fulfilled... It is in my hands I
must not fail, I must not fail....**

CM Punk smirks as the fans boo him out of the building as he makes his way to
the ring. Punk enters the ring and has his own microphone as he look at Edge
who is glaring at him, "Hey Edge... exactly how did you come back? Was it
because you healed naturally... or is it because like all these other pain-
pill popping morons, you shoved bottle after bottle of pills into your body
to heal quicker..."

"How I get back into this ring is my own business Punk... and don't think I
haven't forgotten about how you screwed me out of my World Heavyweight
title!" Edge says.

"Ohhh boo-hoo Edge... as if you haven't made a career out of screwing
people," Punk smirks, "But you know... I have to wonder... since you're
here... exactly.." Punk says as he steps towards Edge, "How healthy you
really are!" Punk says as he sweep-kicks Edge's legs out from under him. Edge
tries to get up to get feet, but CM Punk moves quickly to turn Edge onto his
stomach. Punk grabs a hold of Edge's injured leg by it's shin and wraps his
leg around it and begins to violently twist it while twisting his foot in
the opposite direction.

"AHHHHH AHHHH!" Edge screams in pain as Punk tortures his injured leg even
more as referees run to the ring to try and pull Punk off of the injured
Rated R Superstar. Punk soon lets go when he's good and ready and he poses
proudly as the fans loudly boo his actions.

* * *

At a restaurant in Scranton, Pennsylvania, CM Punk and Kelly Kelly are
finishing their dinner and Punk has already given the waiter his credit card
to pay for the meal, "Now that was good..." Punk says as he feels Kelly's
foot sliding against his leg.

Kelly Kelly bites down on her bottom lip as she lightly slides her foot up
and down against his leg "Damn Phil...you're like really hoping to score big
tonight...dinner that you paid for..." Kelly says, dressed in a pair of
nicely fitted jeans and a long-sleeved light pink top.

CM Punk smirks at Kelly, "Hoping? I never hope..." Punk says.

Kelly laughs cutely and lowers her blond haired head shyly "Well something
must be up about you buying dinner for me..."

"Well... I was thinking when we get out of here.... we may just hit the
hotel..." Punk replies.

Kelly presses her soft, pouty lips together and slowly nods her head. "Oh I
see...and here I thought we were going to do things like old times....you
used to think up the craziest places to go...not some hotel room..." Kelly
says with a cute roll of her eyes as she moves her foot up and down his leg

CM Punk smirks, "Oh well I had thought of one but I think you'd be too
chicken..." Punk says.

Kelly's beautiful and sweet eyes lighten up with excitement "Oh! Tell me..."

Punk smirks, "Well since we're sitting at a booth... how about you going
under the table... and..." Punk casually trails off as Kelly appears to get
his idea before he finishes explaining.

Kelly laughs and her adorable eyes widen "No way! You're kidding..."

"I knew you'd be chicken..." Punk laughs.

"No..." Kelly shakes her head and laughs "I'm not chicken..." Kelly says
before lightly licking her lips. "So...you want me to blow you under the
table?"

"Yeah I do..." Punk nods his head as he leans back a bit as Kelly scoots
closer to him. Kelly cutely blushes as she unbuckles the belt around CM
Punk's waist, leaning forward slightly. Kelly cutely sneaks and slides
underneath the table and perfectly kneels between Punk's spread legs as she
starts to unbutton and unzip his jeans.

"Oh yeah..." Punk licks his lips as he lowers his jeans just enough from his
waist to free his long, thick and quickly hardening cock as Kelly puts her
hands on his jeans covered thighs. Kelly leans her blond haired head forward
and softly flicks her tongue against the head of CM Punk's hardening shaft
while she delicately moves her hands against his jeans covered thighs.

"Mmmm..." CM Punk moans as he feels Kelly's soft wet tongue against the head
of his cock as she moves her hands on his jeans covered thighs. Kelly gently
circles her wet tongue around the head of CM Punk's cock while she moves her
hands on his jeans covered thighs towards the crotch, bracing his cock while
she works her tongue sweetly around the head of his cock.

"Ahhhhh.... mmmm...." CM Punk moans lightly as Kelly firmly holds his cock
with her hands as she flicks her tongue around the sides of the head of his
dick. Kelly parts her soft and moist lips before she lowers her blond haired
head on CM Punk's cock and happily takes the head of his shaft into her
mouth, before she starts bobbing her head.

"Mmmmm ahhh..." Punk moans as he picks up a half-full glass of Pepsi to take
a sip as Kelly bobs her head at a smooth pace on his shaft.

"Mmmmm...mmmm..." Kelly softly moans against CM Punk's cock and he is able to
feel the vibrates of her gentle moans against his shaft. Kelly smoothly lifts
and lowers her head, bathing his cock in her saliva, as she takes him further
into her mouth.

"Mmmmm glad to see you're not a chicken Barbie... but I got another idea..."
Punk moans as Kelly takes his cock deeper into her warm, wet and soothing
mouth.

* * *

Ten minutes later in an alley behind the restaurant, Kelly is bent forward
with her hands on top of a closed trash can as CM Punk guides his rock hard
cock into her pussy from behind. "Mmmmm..." Punk moans as he feels Kelly's
pussy squeezing his cock as it enters her.

"Mmmmmm....ohhhh Phil..." Kelly softly moans as she rocks forward on her feet
as CM Punk starts to thrust his shaft into her from behind, feeling his waist
against her adorably tanned ass.

"Ahhhhh yeah..." CM Punk moans as he puts his hands on Kelly's hips as he
pumps his thick cock in and out of Kelly's pussy from behind.

"Ohhhhh....ohhhh Phil...ohhhh!" Kelly moans and lightly grits her teeth as
her petite, tanned body moves forward as she leans against the trash can as
Punk drills her pussy swiftly.

"Awwww mmmm yeah you like that Barbie?" Punk asks with a grunt as he drives
his cock harder into Kelly's pussy as she tightly holds onto the trashcan's
lid.

"Ohhhhh! Ohhhhhh Phil! Ohhhh!" Kelly moans louder as her adorably ass crashes
against his toned waist as he continues to thrust his shaft into her pussy
from behind.

"Mmmm fuck... ahhhh... ahhh..." Punk groans as hammers Kelly Kelly's pussy
with harder and faster thrusts. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip as she
sweetly glances over her shoulder to look back at CM Punk as she begins to
smoothly grind back against his cock.

"Wanna switch it up?" Punk asks with a grin as Kelly looks back at him. Punk
pulls his cock out of Kelly's pussy and he steps back to lean against an
empty and closed dumpster. Kelly bites down on her bottom lip as she steps to
CM Punk and smoothly lifts herself onto his body, lowering her tanned and
petite body down on his shaft to begin lightly bouncing on his cock.

"Mmmmmm ahhh..." Punk moans as he puts his hands on Kelly's waist as she
manages to hook her legs around his waist as she bounces on his large thick
and hard cock.

"Ohhhh Phil..." Kelly moans softly as she places her hands onto his toned and
tattooed chest while she smoothly bounces up and down on his long shaft.

"Mmmm yeah.... ahhh yeah... mmmmm...." CM Punk moans as he firmly pushes his
cock in and out of Kelly's pussy as she bounces happily on his dick.

"Ohhhhh...Phil...mmmm!" Kelly moans as she leans her blonde haired head back
as she swiftly bounces up and down on his cock, feeling him deeply pumping up
into her pussy. CM Punk leans his head forward and manages to lustfully kiss
Kelly Kelly and she eagerly lets his tongue invade her mouth as she rides his
cock as he drives it into her. Punk turns around and presses Kelly up against
the side of the closed dumpster as he pounds her pussy.

"MMMMMM!" Kelly moans as she presses her lips back against CM Punk's firm
lips while slapping her tongue lustfully against his tongue. Kelly wraps her
arms around CM Punk's neck as she starts to rapidly bounce against his
thrusts.

"MMMMM! MMM!" Punk moans back into Kelly's mouth as he drops his hands
underneath Kelly's gorgeous thighs as he slams his cock into her while she
keeps bouncing on his deeply pistoning cock.

Kelly's tight pussy presses firmly around CM Punk's shaft as she lowers
herself quickly on his cock, before bouncing back up when he thrusts up into
her pussy. "Mmmmm..." Kelly moans into Punk's mouth as she grinds down on his
throbbing cock.

"Ahhhh mmmm... " Punk moans as he and Kelly break the kiss. Punk keeps
pumping his throbbing cock into Kelly's pussy even as he starts to cum inside
of her.

"Ohhhhh...ohhhhhhh....Phil..." Kelly moans as she feels his warm cum flooding
into her pussy, gradually slowing his thrusts down.

"Mmmmmm.... ahhh..." Punk moans as he keeps his cock inside of Kelly's pussy
when comes to a stop as he fills her pussy with his spunk.

Kelly rubs her soft lips together "Mmmm Phil..."

"Yeah Barbie?" Punk asks.

"I think you should stay the night with me..." Kelly says with a laugh before
softly kissing his lips.

Punk returns Kelly's kiss before briefly breaking it, "Now that's... a good
idea..." Punk grins

-END-


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