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Legal bullshit, legal bullshit, bla bla bla. WWE, Amy Dumas, Gregory Shane
Helms, Jeff Hardy, and anyone else. Work of fiction, skip skip skip, and

Lita's Welcoming Part 1
by The Sugarcane

Amy Dumas better known as Lita was recently given an announcing job with the
WWE as a commentator for Sunday Night Heat. This is what she could really use
around this time considering after her neck surgery she was going insane
with boredem not to mention the fact that she was alone at her home in North
Carolina for more than 95% of the weeks before the job, and that was when she
was lucky. This job not only gave her an opportunity to do something in her
time away from the ring, but she also got to hang out with her friends in the

Raw was over so naturally Heat was already taped and finished. She thought
she did an okay job, nothing too great but it can suffice for now. She walked
around the docking section of the arena as they prepared to leave for the
following house show. She watched as all her friends and co-workers all got
in their rentals and left. Leaving her all alone she started on her way to
the parking lot. She walked outside and headed to her car. She thinks someone
is following her so she looks back and nothing. She kept going and got the
feeling again. She looks back again and nothing. She turns to head towards
her car and a hand covers her mouth. The person playfully tosses Lita against
the trunk of another car. She turns around to see none other than her close
friend Jeff Hardy laughing. She stomps up to him and punches him in the

"Ow!" Jeff starts, "What the hell was that for?"

"You scared the hell out of me you dick," Lita retorts.

"So fucking sue me, I was just fooling around."

"That still was not funny."

"You think that was bad turn around."

She does just that right into a face full of cock. She quickly turns away.

"I know that was you Shane."

Shane "Hurricane" Helms hops off the trunk of the car and puts his dick away.
He wraps his arms around Lita's neck and gives her a hug.

"I missed you so much Amy," Shane says trying to get absolved for his action.

"Get off me you perv. Shit, here I am stuck with you two when if I was with
Matt and Shannon I would have Matt's tongue in my mouth and Shannon's tongue
in my ass."

Helms and Hardy think about the statement for a moment and both agree that
yes, in fact at this moment she probably would.

"And what's wrong with the freaks you got here?" Jeff stated poining to
himself and Helms.

"Just answer your own questions why don't you? You guys need a ride or

Helms speaks up, "No, my car is over there. It's really..." Jeff kicks Helms
in the side of the leg, "Yes, me and Jeff need a ride."

"You guys are morons," Lita says with a bit of a humorous tone.

Jeff walks up to her before they get into the car.

"Hey Amy, where's my kiss?"

Lita gives Jeff a quick kiss on the mouth. Helms then speaks up.

"What about my kiss?"

Jeff grabs Helms and gives him a quick kiss on the mouth. Greg pushes Hardy
away and looks like he about to vomit.

"Dude, that wasn't funny!" Helms yells.

"Yes, it was," Lita manages to retort out of a laughing fit.

Jeff hops into the passenger seat as Helms makes himself comfortable across
the backseat. Lita starts the car and they start to drive off to the hotel.
On the way there she can't help but notice Jeff is staring at her.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Man, I missed you," Jeff replies.

"I did too," Shane chimes in.

"Gee, thanks, but can you please not look at me like that while I'm driving.
It's fucking creepy."

"Sorry," Jeff apologizes.

"I wasn't looking at you," Shane chimes in.

"That's because you're gay," Jeff retorts.

"Maybe I am or maybe I AM."

The trio laugh at the statement. Jeff still has his eyes glued on Lita.

"Jeff, fucking knock it off you freak!" Lita complains.

"I resent that statement," Helms chimes in again.

"So Amy," Jeff starts, "what's it gonna take for me to get some?"

"A helluva lot more than fucking staring at me you fucking psycho. Knock it
off. Shane you better not be staring too."

"I'm not."


"Fuck off Hardy!"

Jeff turns on the radio and "She Hates Me" by Puddle of Mudd is playing. They
leave the song on as they drive down to the hotel. They get there and even
though they are out of the car they feel obligated to sing along.


They walk into the bar of the hotel and sit with the other insomniac
superstars like Test, Stacy Keibler, Trish Stratus, and Lance Storm. Jeff
walks over to the other superstars as Lita and Helms grab a booth together.
While they're sitting there they strike up a conversation.

"So did you miss me?" Helms asks inquisitivly.

"As irritating and moronic as you may act, yes I did miss you sweetie," Lita

"I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now."

"Good, because you don't want to know the feeling I had after having your
dick in my face."

"Um, uh, sorry?"

"Yeah, that's a good way to start."

"Is this any better?" Helms calls over one of the waitresses.

"I'll have a Scotch on the rocks. Amy?"

"I'll have a margarita. Strawberry, no salt, frozen."

The waitress takes the orders and heads off to go make them.

"So?" Helms asks

"Okay. But you're still not off the hook yet."

"Fair enough. You look great. I mean it. You look fucking sexy."

"You're just trying anything to get off the hook."

"Yeah, but I'm serious. Why hasn't Matt ever officially asked you out?"

"I'm not sure. I'm positive he enjoyed me giving him head but why he never
said 'Amy, let's go out. Me and you.' still boggles my mind."

"You gave him head."

"I gave you head before."

"That shouldn't count, it was my birthday and you forgot to get me something.
So in return to gave me a little something."

"You weren't complaining."

"I may be a bit strange, but I'm not fucking stupid."

They share a laugh with one another.

"But I am serious. I don't know what it is but you look fucking gorgeous."

"So are you saying I was ugly before now?"

"No, it's just you're even hotter now somehow. I can't put my finger on it."

"Just to inform you your fingers won't be on anything for kissing my ass

"Understandable. But you have to admit my dick is pretty big."

Lita blushes a bit from the comment.

"Hell yeah, I know that you loved that shit. If Jeff wasn't there you would
have been all over me."

"Shut up!"

"Hell yeah, I knew it. You love that shit don't you."

"I'm serious shut the fuck up."

"Okay, lemme just say I can't blame you. I'm so fine that I'm jelouse of

Lita laughs.

"For a second there I was starting to wonder how you are one of my best

"I think my enormus dick has something to do with it honestly."

"Okay, let's just chage the subject over to what the hell is Jeff doing?"

They look over at Jeff who has his face buried in Trish's clevage with his
hand down Stacy's shorts.

"I don't understand that guy," Shane starts.

"Me niether. Why is he fooling around with two hot blondes when he can just
settle for me?" Lita sarcasticly asks.

"Just answer your own damn questions why don't you." Shane replies Lita
quickly follows with a soft slap to his jaw. The waitress comes with their
drinks and places them on the table. Shane and Lita both grab their
respective drinks and take a sip. Shane doesn't sip his Scotch only watches
Lita caress her tongue across the straw of her drink and sucks the liquor
into her mouth. Shane puts down his drink.

"So sexy. Seeing that Matt ain't here, need somebody to tuck you in and fuck
you senseless?" Shane asks not expecting an initial responce.

"Are you making the offer?" Lita retorts.

"Maybe I am."

"Then I got to ask you. How overboard did you go when you dyed your hair?"

"What hair?"

Lita starts to laugh.

"You're telling me you shave off all your pubic hair?" she asks.

"Yeah, so. You got a problem with that?"

"No it's just that with exception to Jeff I didn't think guys did that too

Lita takes another sip of her drink with Shane watching on.

"You hardly touched your drink there," she notices. Quickly Helms picks up
the glass and takes a big gulp. As it goes down his throat he begins to
cough. Lita starts to laugh at the choking superhero.

"Can't handle your liquor you pussy? Would you like me to order you a
Mike's?" Shane quickly replies by flipping her the bird as he gasps for
breath. Suddenly she changes her tone and grabs his finger around the base

"If you're going to treat me like one of the guys I'm going to act like one
of the guys," she starts, "But if you treat me like a lady," Lita takes his
finger into her mouth and quickly sucks on it, "I'll make you into a man. I
take it the drinks are on you. Goodnight Shane." Lita gets up and heads out
of the bar. Helms quickly gets up to go follow her. Before he heads out he
interrupts Jeff who has Trish looking for a cherry in his underwear with no
hands and Stacy feeding strawberries to him orally.

"Pick up my tab?" Helms interrupts.

"Yeah, go," Jeff retorts preoccupied with his friends. As Helms sprints out
into the lobby looking for a redhead with a great ass and a nice set of tits
Trish seems to have found something else much to Hardy's delight. Shane sees
Lita get on an elevator which closes the second he gets there. As fast as he
can he bolts up the the stairs following the elevator all the way up to the
tenth floor. Lita gets off as Shane climbs the stairs like a mountain
climber. He sees her and follows her all the way down to her room. As she
opens the door he stops her.

"Hey Amy!" he yells out of breath.

"Can I help you?" she asks visably frustrated.

"Where's my kiss?" Lita's mood changes back to happy as she embraces Shane
and engages in a lip lock with the superhero. As she's about to pull away
Helms holds onto her hips rather tightly and keeps her in the embrace. They
both walk into the room not letting go of one another. Shane falls on the
bed with Lita on top of him. The two still are making out and groping one
another. Shane's hands explore Lita's fantastic butt as her hand finds its
way to his crotch. She breaks the kiss and keeps rubbing his groin. With an
almost sinister smile on her face she works her hand along the outline of
his cock. She suddenly drops to her knees.

"You were right," she starts, "Your dick is pretty big." Shane takes a cue
and stands up. Much to the beautiful redhead's delight he pulls out his
impressive organ. Lita almost immediatly inhales his throbbing cock the
second he pulls it out. Lita works her soft lips, pierced tongue, and strong
slender fingers along the base and head of The Hurricane's 8" tool. The
sensations make his weak in the knees and he falls back on the bed, Lita
not missing a step. Helms grabs a handful of her soft red hair as she
continues to suck him off. She gives the underside of his prick a long
paint bush lick and then removes her shirt.

She grabs his dick again and starts to rub it on her tits which are
constrained in a navy blue lace bra. Shane lets out an audible groan that
makes Lita grin. She reaches back and unhooks her bra. Shane watches as two
of the nicest, firmest, and now biggest tits are freed.

"That's it! You got another tit job!" Shane realizes

"Wow, and that only took you ten hours." Lita playfully retorts as she takes
Helms' penis and places it between her large mounds. Shane grins a mile wide
as Lita titty fucks him. She slowly works her sizable breasts along the shaft
of his dick, once in awhile slithering her steel studded tongue out to coat
the tip with saliva. Shane is having difficulty trying to handle all the
pleasure and is on the verge of orgasim already. Lita picks up on this and
stops her actions.

She crawls on top of Shane and starts to kiss him. Shane turns her over onto
her back and starts to aggressivly kiss her neck. He works his way down to
her breasts. He places the tit in his mouth and starts to suck on nature's
pacifier like a baby. He licks the nipple once more and blows on it to get it
nice a hard. Shane then turns his attention to her other breast and does the
same. Lita's seductive grin grows as Helms kisses down her six pack abs and
stops at her pants.

Helms takes a whiff of Lita's sweet aroma and digs his face into her crotch.
He starts to lick her crotch through her pants and she goes wild from the
pressure alone. Lita as quickly as she can undoes her pants and Shane digs
his face in between her lovly legs again. Though her thong is still on he
laps at her warm twat. Tired of not getting the full effect of his actions,
Lita moves the thong aside and Helms once again digs his face into her bare

Lita's moans sound like a mix between sexual pleasure and laughter. Shane
pistons two fingers into her box as he licks her clit. Lita grabs two
handfuls of his green hair as he nearly licks her kidneys.

Shane stands up and places his dick against the sopping wet opening. He lays
on top of her and slides his dick deep into her pussy. Helms then starts to
work his rod in and out of the lovly Lita. Her moans are purly erotic as
Shane works his 8" dick into her pink opening.

Shane thrusts in his dick to the hilt and holds it in there. As she adjusts
to it he starts to wildly buck his hips and works his dick in and out of
her like a jackhammer. Her large breasts bounce to the rhythem of the slam
fucking of a lifetime. Lita grabs her D cup mounds and pushes them together.
Shane leans in and starts sucking on her tits as he continues to fuck her.
Lita starts licking her own breasts as she nears orgasim.

Shane thrusts in a few forceful times as Lita recieves an orgasm that makes
her spine tingle. He pulls his girl juice covered cock and starts to undress.
He pulls off his pants, shirt, and underwear as he lays on the bed with his
hard on in full attention. Lita removes her bright pink thong and gets on top
of him. She eases herself down on his prick and starts to bounce on it.

Lita closes her eyes as she rides Helms' dick like it was the only thing in
the world. Her large tits bounce in unison with her body going up and down to
a hypnotic rhythem. Shane grabs both melons in his hands as she continues to
ravage her own sex with his member.

Shane holds on for as much longer as he can as his fiery haired goddess
starts to ride him faster. Her ass starts to move at blinding speeds, working
her wet pussy up and down the shaft of his cock. She sits all the way down on
it and keeps it in there for a moment as both Lita and Helms catch their

She gets off of the juice covered dong and lays next to Shane for a moment.

"So hero, now what?" Lita asks fondling Shane's balls in her hand.

"Get on all fours," Shane replies and Lita becomes all smiles.

She crawls away from him, ass swaying in the air and Shane takes his place
behind her. He places the head of his dick against the puckered love tunnel
and works his dick in.

"You like that baby?" Shane asks.

"Oh yeah. Fuck my ass hard," Lita replies with a look of hunger in her eyes.
Helms takes his que and pushes his dick deep into her tight anal cavity.
Her initial responce is that of discomfort which quickly turns into sheer
orgasmic pleasure as Shane plows his dick into her ass.

Shane eyes his piece piston in and out of her and slaps her on her sweet ass.

"I see your tits aren't the only thing that got bigger since you left," Shane
manages to spit out.

"You like it?" Lita asks

"Oh I love it." Shane replies continuing to pump his dick into her ass.
Shane feels himself near orgasim. So with his last breaths he starts to fuck
her with reckless abandon. Lita clenches the sheets to the point where her
knuckles turn white while recieving Helms' vicious ass pounding. Shane
thrusts hard into her ass three more times and pulls his dick out.

He lays back on the bed and Lita lays between his legs. Shane looks deep into
the redhead's hazel eyes as she jerks him off and darts her toung all over
the head of his dick. Helms takes one last grunt and shoots his cream all
over Lita's pierced toung.

Lita swallows his cum and milks the last of his secretion from his dick with
her talented mouth. Lita milks the last of it out crawls up next to Helms.
Shane grabs the blanket and pulls it over them.

"By the way Amy, wecome back." Shane says.

"Wait a sec." Lita retorts "You give me the fucking of a life time and all
you have to say is 'welcome back' like this is some type of cheap porno rip
off. What the hell Helms? I mean Matt never asked me out but he at least
said shit like 'I love you' or 'that was fantastic', not 'welcome back'. Oh
my God, are you like retarded or something?"

"You were fucking amazing. That better?" Shane manages to say. Lita lays
her head on his shoulder.


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