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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us, is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Punk'ed Off
by Kristi ( and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

At the Fed-Ex Forum following the January 2, 2012 broadcast of RAW Supershow, John Laurinaitis, the Executive Vice-President of Talent Relations and RAW Interim General Manager, is in his office sitting in his office chair, texting on his cell phone as Vickie Guerrero walks into his office and drops CM Punk's WWE Championship belt on Laurinaitis's desk, causing him to look up, "What do you think you're doing Vickie?" John Laurinaitis says.

Vickie Guerrero places her hands onto her curved hips and presses her lips together. "You wanted the WWE Championship back that Dolph only borrowed from CM Punk, so here you go..." Vickie says as she turns her head to look away from Laurinaitis. "You know...Dolph was going to give the belt back to him next week on RAW..."

Laurinaitis raises an eyebrow, "I believe I told Dolph to return the WWE Championship directly to CM Punk and to apologize for taking something that was not is..." Laurinaitis says to Vickie.

"And Dolph is busy, so I'm bringing belt to you!" Vickie slightly snaps back at the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and the interim General Manager of RAW.

"Vickie, as the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations... and RAW's Interim General Manager, it is obvious to me Dolph has delegated his assigned task to you..." Laurinaitis says, "And with that being the case, you will have to directly return the WWE Championship to CM Punk and apologize on Dolph Ziggler's behalf."

"Excuse me!" Vickie yells.

"I believe I was quite clear," John Laurinaitis says, "Now, if Dolph Ziggler can beat CM Punk at the Royal Rumble where I will be the special guest referee, Dolph can have the WWE Championship back, until that happens, the WWE Championship belongs in the hands of CM Punk."

Vickie Guerrero narrows her eyes and presses her lips together as she glares at John Laurinaitis for a moment before she reaches forward to pick the WWE Championship off of the desk. "Dolph better win that understand me?!" Vickie snaps.

"If Dolph is as good as he says he is, he will win," John Laurinaitis replies.

"Oh he'll win...he'll show CM Punk and the entire world why he should be the WWE Champion!"

* * *

A short time later in CM Punk's locker room, the Chicago-native has just finished taking a shower and has a towel wrapped around his waist as he takes his street clothes out of his travel bag as Vickie Guerrero barges into his locker room without knocking, walks up to him and drops the WWE Championship in front of him. CM Punk smirks, "Well that's a first...a Guerrero returning stolen property..."

Vickie narrows her eyes and glares at CM Punk. "You don't know the first thing about being a Guerrero...but that doesn't surprise me as you're nothing more than a piece of Chicago white trash..." Vickie says before she wickedly laughs in amusement at her own insult to Punk. "Just make sure you keep the WWE Championship warm, because at the Royal man...Dolph Ziggler will be the new WWE Champion!" Vickie says before she turns to exit the locker room.

CM Punk smirks as he picks up his WWE Championship belt, "You know Dolph may be a show off, but he can't win a match without help..." Punk says as he places the WWE Championship on top of his travel bag.

Vickie pauses and turns her head to look back at CM Punk. "Dolph doesn't need any help, he is absolutely amazing..."

"If you mean he's amazing looking like a complete jackass when he needs your help to win every match, then yeah I agree..." CM Punk laughs a bit.

Vickie turns back around to face CM Punk and places her hands onto her curved hips. "Let me tell you something,'re just jealous of Dolph Ziggler..." Vickie says with a smirk as she steps closer to him.

"Oh this is gonna be good, exactly how did you wrap your head around that piece of lame duck logic?" Punk asks

Vickie keeps her left hand onto her hip and raises her right hand into the air, extending her index finger to make her first point. "First off...Dolph is a much better wrestler than you...he should be the one saying he's the best in the world, not you!" Vickie says before she raises a second finger into air to make note of her second point. "Dolph is extremely good looking, he doesn't look like he crawled out of some sewer like you..." Vickie says and proceeds to raises a third finger into the air to make her next point. "....And don't have any of this..." Vickie says before she arrogantly motions to her body.

"What... a 200 pound over sexed widow?" Punk asks with a smirk.

Vickie Guerrero opens her mouth in shock and looks at CM Punk for a moment. "Excuse me!" Vickie snaps. "For your information...I have lost a very considerable amount of weight...and I'm hot! Just like the iconic Sable...all the men want me!"

"Well let's see... there was Edge, and we all know he would fuck just about anything... and Dolph Ziggler, who after he dumped a chick that I banged first, couldn't find a steady girlfriend until you took pity on him..." Punk smirks, "And as far as lost weight goes... well you lost it in your stomach... but it looks like you ass found it..."

Vickie narrows her eyes and shakes her head. "You're just a little pathetic boy that knows he couldn't handle a hot, certified cougar like me!"

CM Punk begins to laugh and it takes him several moments to stop laughing at Vickie's comment, "You know the last woman who told me that has ended up a regular visitor to my tour bus..."

Vickie presses her lips together and looks at CM Punk. "I don't find you very funny!"

Punk shrugs his shoulders, "You're entitled to your opinion..."

"I do know this Punk...there is not a chance that you're a better lover than Dolph Ziggler..."

"Hey just because Dolph doesn't mind dusting off the cobwebs before he eats you out doesn't mean he's better than me," Punk says with a smirk.

Vickie narrows her eyes and looks at CM Punk with hatred. "You couldn't handle me..."

"Well... I tell you what..." CM Punk says as he unwraps the towel from around his waist, freeing his large, meaty Chicago made cock, "Why don't you put your mouth to good use and we'll see if that's true, otherwise, get lost..." Punk says as he tosses the towel aside.

Vickie lowers her head eyes and looks down at CM Punk's cock, with her eyes widening and her jaw dropping at the sight of his cock. "Oh my..." Vickie pauses and then clears her throat before she looks up at CM Punk and glares "Excuse me!?"

"I'm sure you heard me..." Punk smirks as he places his hands on his waist.

Vickie raises an eyebrow and then smirks at CM Punk. "You think I'll back off and leave, don't you?"

Punk smirks, "Oh with how you present yourself I expect you to drop to your knees and start sucking my dick."

Vickie presses her lips together and points at him with a finger. "Dolph's going to beat you..." Vickie says before she lowers herself down onto her knees in front of CM Punk, placing her left hand around his shaft and starts to work her hand back and forth against his shaft.

"Just keep thinking that if it makes you happy..." Punk says as Vickie strokes his hardening cock with her left hand while she gets an up close look at his impressive tool.

Vickie narrows her eyes and glares up at CM Punk before she parts her lips and takes CM Punk's cock into her mouth. With her lips pressing around his shaft, the WWE's resident cougar starts to bob her head back and forth to suck on his cock.

"Mmmm..." CM Punk groans as Vickie Guerrero bobs her head briskly on his long and thick cock.

"Mmmmmmm...mmmmm..." Vickie moans as she keeps her eyes narrowed as she looks up at CM Punk, while she surprisingly bobs her head sensually and smoothly on his shaft, with her lips brushing against his pipe bombing cock.

"Mmmmm would say not bad for an old chick... but older women do always know how to suck cock..." Punk says with a groan as he gives Vickie a back-handed compliment as she takes a good portion of his cock into her mouth each time she lowers her head on his shaft.

Vickie presses her lips tighter around his shaft and glares up at him more intensely as she starts to sharply grind her lips down on his shaft, while taking him further into her mouth.

Punk places his right hand on Vickie's dark haired head and begins to thrust his cock forward into her mouth as she bobs her head repeatedly.

"Mmmmmmm...mmmmm...mmmmmm..." Vickie moans as her head bobs back and forth against his cock as he works his cock deeper into her wet, cougar mouth.

"Ahhhh... " Punk groans as he thrusts his cock in and out of Vickie Guerrero's mouth as she places both of her hands on his toned thighs.

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmm.." Vickie moans as she holds her lips loosely around his cock as her head moves back and forth along the length of his shaft as he firmly works his cock deeper.

"Mmmmmm..." Punk licks his lips as he applies more force to his forward thrusts until he feels the head of his cock colliding with the back of Vickie's saliva dripping mouth.

"Mmmmmmm...gahhhh...gah..." Vickie starts to gag and moan around CM Punk's cock as the head of his cock continually smacks against the back of her mouth.

"Mmmmm did you just... ahhh... go excuse me?" Punk asks with a groan as he continues to fuck Vickie's mouth as she gags, moans and slobbers on his Chicago made prick.

Vickie slides her hands up to CM Punk's toned waist and closes her eyes as her head bobs back and forth with Punk pumping into her wet and cougar hot mouth.

The controversial WWE Superstar smirks at Vickie is more than willingly to let him fuck her mouth as hard and as fast as he wants.

"Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!" Vickie's moans become louder around CM Punk's cock as she presses her fingernails against his toned waist as the thrusts into her mouth become quicker.

"Mmmmmm ahhh bet you like that a lot more than Dolph..." Punk smirks and moans as he takes his hand off of Vickie's head as he keeps thrusting his cock into her mouth.

Vickie lifts her eyes and glares up at CM Punk before she roughly jerks her head off of his cock. "I wasn't impressed!" Vickie snaps.

CM Punks gives a Vickie a sarcastic smirk, "Right... the saliva dripping down your chin tells a different story..."

Vickie raises her hand up to her chin and keeps her eyes glaring at CM Punk as she proceeds to wipe the saliva off of her chin.

"Face it Vickie... you love being the 'cougar' in the WWE for one reason because you know the WWE is filled with guys with big hard throbbing cocks..." Punk smirks.

Vickie smirks, but does not respond to CM Punk before she stands up from the floor of the locker room and starts to lift her top.

CM Punk gives Vickie his trademark 'unimpressed' look as she reveals her nicely sized tits while she lifts her top up over her head.

Vickie allows her top to drop to the floor before she looks at CM Punk with his smug, unimpressed look. "Hey! I'm hot!"

"So is Florida in the summer time..." Punk replies with a smirk.

Vickie presses her lips together and glares at Punk before she pushes down her business pants and steps out of them once lowered to her feet.

Punk again gives Vickie his 'unimpressed' look before smirking, "Well I'll give you this much Vickie... Cody may put a bag on your head but I wouldn't..."

Vickie places her hands onto her hips. "You know, if you're just going to make fun of me...I could very well just leave!"

"You could've left ten minutes ago..." Punk smirks as places a hand on Vickie's shoulder and guides her over to the locker room couch, "But like the slut on that show on ABC... you're just a cougar who gets hot and wet at the sight of a large cock..." Punk says as he gets Vickie to kneel on the couch. Punk kneels on the couch behind Vickie's and guides his stiff cock into her tight wet pussy.

"Mmmmmmm....excuse me!?" Vickie moans and snaps as she rocks forward on her knees as Punk starts to thrust into her from behind.

"You're excused..." Punk smirks as he places his hands on Vickie's hips as he pumps his cock in and out of her pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmmm...." Vickie moans and grits her teeth as she sharply moves forward on her knees as she leans forward and places her hands onto the armrest of the couch, with Punk pumping into her.

CM Punk smirks as he watches Vickie's nicely thick ass smack against his waist as he pumps his cock firmly into her cunt.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhhh..ohhhhhh!" Vickie moans and lowers her head as she rocks on her knees, feeling him deeply pumping into her.

The reigning WWE Champion smirks when he sees Vickie lowering her head down. Without saying anything, Punk increases the pace of his thrusts, rapidly and firmly driving his dick deeply into Vickie's snatch.

"Ohhhhhhh...ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhh!" Vickie Guerrero moans loudly and grits her teeth as she sharply moves forward on her knees, feeling each of his deep and firm thrusts.

"Mmmmm..." CM Punk groans and smirks as he relentlessly hammers the pussy of the former RAW and SmackDown General Manager.

"Ohhhhhh...ohhhhhhh..." Vickie moans as her nicely rounded and thick ass smacks back loudly against his toned waist as she starts to push back against his cock.

"Mmmm ahhhh..." CM Punk grunts as he drives his cock balls deep into Vickie's twat.

Vickie lifts her head and turns to look back at CM Punk as she feels him jerking her back against his cock. "Ohhhhh..ohhhhhh..."

"Still want to be 'excused'?" CM Punk asks with a smirk as he sharply drives his cock into Vickie Guerrero's cougar cunt.

Vickie narrows her eyes and snaps at Punk. "What!?"

"Thought so..." Punk smirks as he pulls Vickie with him as he turns to sit on the couch, resulting in Vickie being mounted on his large straightedge cock while she faces away from him. The WWE Champion soon begins to thrust his cock up into Vickie's pussy.

Vickie turns her head and looks back at disgust. "You're not...ahhhhh that good..." Vickie moans despite grinding down on his cock to encourage him to thrust deeper and quicker into her pussy.

"Mmmmm as if you expect me to believe that..." Punk replies with a moan as he gives Vickie his 'unimpressed' smirk while he quickens the pace of his upward thrusts.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhhh..mmmm..." Vickie moans and licks her lips as she lowers on his cock, feeling him pumping upward into her.

"Mmmmmm awwww yeah... mmmm.." CM Punk groans as Vickie's ass smacks down against his toned waist as he thrusts his cock firmly up into her cunt.

Vickie places her hands behind her onto CM Punk's toned and tattoo covered chest as she bounces and lowers steadily on his cock, with his shaft pumping deeper.

CM Punk smirks as Vickie bounces up and down on his stiff large cock. Punk moves his hands from Vickie's hips and reaches around her to grab her tits.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhh fuck...ohhhh excuse me!" Vickie moans loudly as she feels his cock ramming deep.

"Ahhhh..." Punk groans as Vickie bounces eagerly up and down on his cock, riding his shaft like a Diva half her age would as Punk squeezes her tits and thrusts up into her cunt.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhh..." Vickie moans as sweat lightly drips down her face as she rocks back and forth, grinding her cougar snatch down on his cock.

"Mmmm seems like Dolph can't get the job done..." Punk groans and smirks as Vickie lustfully rides his cock. The Chicago-born Superstar leans to his left until he and Vickie are laying on their left sides on the couch. Punk lifts Vickie's right leg up with his right hand as he quickly pumps his cock in and out of her pussy.

"Mmmmmm...don't...ahhhh you worry about him..." Vickie moans and grits her teeth tightly as his cock deeply rams into her pussy, causing her to slide on her side against his thrusts.

"Oh mmmm you want me to worry about fucking your forty year old cunt... pumping my big fucking dick harder and faster than anything you've experienced?" Punk asks with a grunt as he drills Vickie's snatch, resulting in his body smacking loudly against the back of Vickie's body as he fucks her.

"Ohhhhhhhh...ohhhhhhh...ohhhhhhhh!" Vickie Guerrero moans loudly and leans her head back as Punk firmly and rapidly plows his cock into her pussy.

"Mmmm what's that Vickie... you want it harder? You want it faster?" Punk asks as he increases the pace and force of his already swift and firm thrusts as he keeps driving his shaft into Vickie's twat.

"Ohhhhhhhh..ohhhhhhhh! Mmmmmm..." Vickie moans and pushes back against his cock as her pussy starts to tighten around his shaft.

CM Punk smirks and licks his teeth as he feels Vickie's pussy squeezing down on his pistoning cock as he keeps an incredible pace of plowing her cunt with his shaft.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh..." Vickie moans and leans back against Punk as she starts to cum.

"Mmmmm..." Punk groans as he feels his cock starting to throb as he keeps pumping it into Vickie's snatch as she coats his shaft with her pussy juices.

Vickie Guerrero grits her teeth and lightly grinds back against his cock as she feels him deeply plowing into her.

"Mmmmm... ahhhh..." Punk groans as he thrusts his throbbing cock in and out of Vickie's pussy before he choose to pull out. After easing Vickie off the couch and down to the floor, CM Punk sits up on the couch and begins to stroke his cock as an exhausted Vickie sits up on her knees in front of him.

Vickie raises her hands and wipes the sweat from her face and forehead as she watches Punk stroking his cock.

"Mmmmm..." CM Punk groans as he strokes his cock. Punk moves forward on the couch, sitting on the edge of the seat to get closer to the tired cougar so that he when he begins to cum, his load splatters perfectly on her lips and cheeks.

Vickie closes her eyes and presses her lips tightly together as his warm cum lands onto her sweat coated face.

"Mmmmm tell Dolph... that he's going to have to pick up his game if he wants to compete with the Best in the World..." Punk says as he keep stroking his cock until he's finished cumming.

Vickie Guerrero opens her eyes and looks up at Punk with a glare. "Dolph is going to know why...because he is the best in the world...and he is a much better lover..."

CM Punk gives Vickie his 'unimpressed' look again, "Alright, tell you what, I fucked your brains out... at the Rumble... I'll beat Dolph's brains out... sounds fair?"

Vickie shakes her head. "Everything is just a big joke to you..." Vickie says before she stands up. "And at the Royal Rumble, Dolph and I will have the last laugh when he beats you..." Vickie says before she pauses and then starts to wickedly laugh.

"We'll just see what happens... and by the way... you can excuse yourself out of my locker room..." Punk smirks.


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