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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

RAW Eruptions
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

In East Rutherford, New Jersey's Izod Center, hours before the start of the
April 19, 2010 broadcast of Monday Night RAW, Ryan Phillippe, wearing a
baggy, gray colored long sleeved shirt over a light gray tank top, gray field
pants and combat boots, walks into the Guest Host's office and stops in his
tracks when he sees his co-star for the upcoming film MacGruber, Will Forte,
dressed in his MacGruber costume. Ryan steps over to the Saturday Night Live
cast member and sees that he's looking at the arena's layout. "Will... what
are you doing? Why are you dressed as MacGruber?" Ryan asks.

Will looks up at Ryan as soon as he says MacGruber, "I'm analyzing the
building... that Vladimir Kozlov wants to get cute and call me out... well I
got a BIG surprise for him... cause nobody calls out MacGruber!" Will then
pauses, "And who the hell is Will?"

Ryan raises an eyebrow, "Okay... well... Will..." Ryan clears his throat when
Will gives him a look, "I mean MacGruber... the volunteers from SmackDown
arrived and are getting ready for the show..."

"That's great! Yeah with what I have in mind that's really gonna work out..."
Will grins just as fellow Saturday Night Live cast member and MacGruber co-
star Kristen Wiig, rushes into the office. Like Will Forte, Kristen is
dressed in her costume from the upcoming MacGruber film. Will doesn't pay any
attention to her while Ryan notices the worried look on her face

"Hey Kristen... what's wrong?" Ryan Phillippe asks.

Kristen looks at her co-star, "Huh? My name is Vicki... Vicki St. Elmo..."
Kristen says before he rushes over to Will. "MacGruber! We got a problem!"

Will's interest is immediately spiked and he looks at Kristen, "What is it
Vicki? Terrorists? A run away bus that can't go under 55 Miles Per Hour? My
dad trying to re-connect with me?"

Vicki bites her bottom lip, "Well MacGyver called earlier... but the trouble
is... we have no ring announcer! The one who was gonna be here is trapped in

"Really? Hmmm maybe I can asks Chris... he likes to talk a lot..." Will Forte

"Ummm Will... I mean MacGruber..." Ryan says as he tries not to laugh, "I
took care of that already... had to call in a couple of favors, but I got
someone to fill in."

Will smiles, "That's great! Now...I need to find some C4..." Will starts to
say when there's a knock on the office door. "Vicki get that will you..."
Will says. Kristen nods her head and walks over to the office door to answer

"Sure thing MacGruber!" Kristen Wiig replies in her up-beat Vicki St. Elmo
persona. Kristen Wiig opens the door and standing out in the hallway is the
former long-time Ring Announcer Monday Night RAW and Decade Diva, Lilian
Garcia, dressed in a short black skirt and a dark crimson top.

"Did somebody call for a ring announcer?" Lilian Garcia says with a sweet
smile on her face as she steps into the office of the Guest Hosts for RAW.

Will Forte glances at Lilian, "Hmmm you'll do just fine I think..." Will says
before he looks at Ryan, "Hey you... wait what's your name?"

Ryan raises an eyebrow, "It's Ryan... you know that Will..."

Will Forte makes a face, "One, the names MacGruber, two Ryan? Really? Okay...
look me and Vicki are going to go set up some things for the show... why
don't you help her settle in..."

"Okay..." Ryan nods his head as he looks at Lilian.

"Come on Vicki... I got some surprises to set up for Kozlov..." Will says as
he walks around Lilian to head out of his office.

Lilian Garcia raises an eyebrow as she looks at Will Forte and Kristen Wiig
make a rush, exiting the office. Lilian turns her head to glance back at Ryan
Phillippe and laughs "Ummm...are they for real?" Lilian asks as she places
her hands onto her hips.

Ryan scratches the back of his head, "I really don't know..." Ryan laughs
nervously., "But I want to thank you for coming in on short notice... with
the mess in Europe for a while I feared the show would be canceled..."

Lilian presses her soft and moist lips together and pleasantly shakes her
head "No need to thank me at all...It's a pleasure to be back, even if it's
for one night..." Lilian replies. "And I must say it's a pleasure to meet
you, Ryan..." Lilian says as she removes her left hand from her hip and
extends her hand to shake his hand.

Ryan extends his hand and shakes Lilian's hand, "Oh really? You're a fan?"

Lilian sweetly smiles "Yes...I've seen alot of your movies..."

Ryan Phillippe smiles, "That's great... always like to meet someone who's
enjoyed the films I've been in."

Lilian nods her head slightly "I must say...Cruel favorite of
all them..."

"Hmmm a lot of people pick that one..." Ryan replies before he smiles,
"Mostly because of what Sarah Michelle and Selma did..." Ryan adds with a
laugh as he refers to the MTV Award winning on-screen kiss between Sarah
Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair.

Lilian blushes a bit "Yeah that was pretty hot..."

"Took them quite a few takes to get that right..." Ryan says with a laugh,
"So.... MacGruber... I mean Will asked me to help you settle in.... do you um
need or do anything to help you prepare for the show?"

Lilian bites down on her bottom lip and glances at Ryan Phillippe. "Well
there is something, but there's no way it can happen..."

"Oh? What would that be?" Ryan asks.

"Well...before a show...I get warmed up with a certain superstar...but he's
not here..."

"Guess he must be one of the ones stuck in Europe... well maybe I can help
you warm up," Ryan offers.

Lilian Garcia laughs a bit and raises an eyebrow at looks at Ryan "Ummm...are
you sure?"

"Sure..." Ryan Phillippe nods his head and smiles.

"'re a bit over dressed to start with..." Lilian says as she
steps closer to Ryan Phillippe

"I... am?" Ryan asks as he gets a confused look on his face as Lilian steps
even closer to him.

Lilian nods her head and smiles "Yeah...way too over dressed..." Lilian says
as she places her hands onto his upper body and starts to pull at his gray
long-sleeved shirt, pulling it away from his body.

"Ohhhh I see..." Ryan nods his head slightly as he pulls his arms out of the
sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt. As Lilian lays his shirt on the office's
desk, Ryan lifts up and takes off his gray tank top, revealing his nicely
toned and tanned upper body. "How's this?"

Lilian licks her lips slightly and nods her head "Mmmm...very nice..." Lilian
says before she places her hands onto his waist and starts to remove the belt
from his gray baggy pants.

"Thanks..." Ryan smiles as he glances down to watch Lilian unbuckle his belt
before she pulls it through the loops of his pants. Lilian bites down on her
bottom as she sweetly looks up at Ryan Phillippe as she removes the belt from
the loops of his baggy gray pants completely and tosses the belt down onto
the floor. Lilian proceeds to unbutton his pants and starts to push them down
from his waist, before she too begins to lower herself in front of him. Ryan
licks his lips slightly as Lilian pulls his pants down far enough to free
his gradually hardening cock.

Lilian glances up and smirks slightly at the sight of his cock. "Very
nice..." Lilian says with a laugh as she places her right hand onto his cock
and begins to smoothly stroke it, instantly causing it to harden.

"Mmm... what I'm looking at is very nice too..." Ryan replies with a smile as
Lilian smoothly strokes his cock until it's fully hardened. Lilian Garcia
gently slaps her wet tongue against the bottom side of his fully hard shaft
and begins to move her hand down to the base of his cock before she starts to
gently slide her wet tongue against the head of his cock.

"Mmmm.... ahhh..." Ryan moans as the gorgeous former WWE Diva slides her
tongue around the head of his rock hard dick.

"Mmmmmmm..." Lilian moans, gently sliding her saliva against the head of his
cock with her talented tongue. Lilian closes her eyes as she parts her lips
and takes his cock into her mouth, pressing her lips gently against his

"Ohhhh mmm..." Ryan moans as Lilian starts to bob her head smoothly on his

"Mmmmmmm...mmmmmm..." Lilian softly moans as she moves her head on Ryan's
cock, gently moving her head at gradually sucking his cock at a quicker pace.

"Ohhh yeah... ahhh...." Ryan moans as Lilian briskly bobs her head on his
cock while taking it further into her mouth.

"Mmmmmmm...mmmmmmm..." Lilian moans as she lifts her beautiful eyes and
glances up at Ryan Phillippe as she takes his cock deeper into mouth, lightly
slapping her saliva against his cock.

"Ohhh ahhh mmm..." Ryan licks his lips as he watches Lilian Garcia as she
easily deep throats his cock while working her tongue against the bottom side
of his dick. Lilian turns her head slightly, grinding her moist and pouty
lips on his shaft as she smoothly takes him deep into her talented mouth.
Ryan grits his teeth as Lilian easily holds his cock inside of her warm and
soothing mouth before she starts to lift her head up off of his shaft. Lilian
playfully slaps her wet tongue against the head of his cock after she removes
her head completely. Lilian scoots back on her knees and starts to untie her
dark crimson top, easily peeling it away from her body to expose her nicely
rounded and firm, tanned tits.

"Wow... that was the best head I've ever had..." Ryan says as he watches
Lilian remove her top from her gorgeous body.

"Really?" Lilian asks with a sweet smile as she moves to stand up from the
floor, dropping her top on the floor as she starts to lower her black skirt
from her waist.

"Oh yeah..." Ryan nods his head as he keeps his eyes on Lilian Garcia.

Lilian cutely laughs "Well thank you..." Lilian replies before she slides her
skirt down her gorgeous legs and steps out of her skirt, exposing her
smoothly shaved and moist pussy.

"Wow..." Ryan licks his lips as he admire Lilian's completely naked body.

Lilian licks her lips and places her hands onto her perfectly rounded, smooth
hips. "So are you just going to stare?"

"Well you know the view is pretty awesome to stare at..." Ryan says as he
moves towards Lilian as she turns around to place her hands on the desk while
she bends forward. Ryan places his right hand on Lilian's hip as he guides
his cock into Lilian Garcia's warm, wet and tight pussy.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhh..." Lilian moans and presses her lips together as she rocks
forward on her feet, moving forward as Ryan Phillippe begins to thrust his
cock into her wet pussy from behind.

"Ahhh... mmm ahhh..." Ryan moans as he smoothly thrusts his cock in and out
of Lilian's pussy as she pushes back against him. Lilian Garcia leans forward
a bit more against the desk as she feels Ryan's cock rapidly pumping in and
out of her wet and warm pussy, feeling his toned waist smacking lightly
against her perfectly rounded ass.

"Ahhh.... awww damn..." Ryan grunts as he gradually increases the pace of his
thrusts as he fucks Lilian's tight wet pussy from behind. Lilian licks her
lips as she glances back over her shoulder and begins to smoothly push back
against his cock as she cutely tries to push his cock out of her pussy,
causing Ryan Phillippe to pump his cock deeper and firmer in response.

"Ohhhh ahhhh mmmm... a lot... better than my ex-wife..." Ryan groans as he
swiftly thrusts his cock into Lilian's pussy while she rocks back to match
his pace.

Lilian bites down on her bottom lip and blushes "I guess...I...ohhhhhh...take
that as a compliment..." Lilian replies as she closes her eyes and smoothly
rocks back against Ryan Phillippe's cock.

"Ohhhh ahhh it is..." Ryan replies as he rams his cock deeper into Lilian's
hot pussy.

"Ohhhhhhh...mmmmm...." The beautiful former RAW Ring Announcer and Diva moans
as she moves her gorgeous body back against the famed actor as he thrusts his
cock steadily into her wet pussy. The star of such films as Crash and Flags
Of Our Fathers pulls his cock out of Lilian Garcia's tight wet pussy and
turns her around. Lilian lifts herself up onto the desk and spreads her legs,
allowing Ryan to step between them in order to push his cock back into her
pussy. Lilian sweetly smirks at Ryan as she wraps her smooth, tanned legs
around his waist and starts to lightly rock on the edge of the desk, feeling
his cock ramming deeply into her pussy.

"Ohhh ahhh..." Ryan grunts as he quickly pumps his cock in and out of
Lilian's pussy while she leans back on the desk.

"Ohhhhhhh...mmmm that feels so good..." Lilian Garcia moans as she licks her
leans and leans her head back, grinding her wet and warm pussy against his
cock as he firmly thrusts into her.

"Awww... mmm ahhh..." Ryan grunts as he drives his cock into Lilian's pussy
while she grinds herself against his pistoning shaft.

"Ohhhhhhhh...mmmmm" Lilian moans as she starts to rock swiftly toward Ryan
Phillippe, feeling his cock ramming deeply into her pussy.

"Ahhh.... awww...." Ryan groans as his cock starts to throb inside of
Lilian's wet and hot pussy as he keeps pumping his cock into her. Lilian
bites down on her bottom lip as she presses her gorgeous legs tighter around
his toned waist, pulling him closer to her. Ryan grits his teeth slightly as
he begins to cum inside of Lilian's pussy following one last deep thrust.
Lilian grinds her tight and wet pussy against his cock, feeling his warm cum
spraying from his throbbing shaft.

"Mmmmm ahhhh..." Ryan Phillippe moans as he holds is cock inside of Lilian's
pussy as he floods her pussy with his load. Lilian smiles at Ryan Phillippe
as she unhooks her legs from around his waist and sits back slightly on the

"Ahhh... so did that... warm you up?" Ryan asks as he slowly pulls his cock
out of Lilian's pussy.

Lilian nods her head and smiles "Yes...I think it did..."

"That's good I'm glad I could..." Before Ryan can finish what he's going to
say a loud explosion is heard. The color drains from Ryan Phillippe's face,
"Ummmm I think I better go check on Will and Kristen..."

Lilian laughs and shakes her head "I've seen a lot of things over the years,
but this is the craziest..."


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