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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us,
is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because
we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies
involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United
States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler
Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened
and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Rated R Fortunes
by Kristi (
and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

After interfering in a match between Randy Orton and Triple H at a WWE Live
Event in October of 2006, the Rated R Superstar Edge is to the locker room
area of the SBC Center in San Antonio, Texas. Edge reaches a door and he
opens one thinking that he it leads into the men's locker room and enters the
room without double-checking first. Edge then realizes the room is pitch
black and as he turns to leave the door entered through closes on it's own
and it doesn't open when Edge pushes on the handle.

"What the hell..." Edge says as a series of candles begin to light up around
the room. Edge turns around and he raises an eyebrow when he sees the
hundreds of candles and a small circular table with ECW's Vampiric Vixen and
fortune teller Ariel sitting behind it as she lays out some of her tarot
cards. Also in the room is Kevin Thorn, wearing black pants and a blood red
shirt with matching blood red colored suit jacket. "Okay... this is...
strange..." Edge says as he steps towards to the small circular table.

Ariel slowly raises an eyebrow and wickedly smirks at the Rated R Superstar
as he approaches the small circular table. Ariel licks her fanged Vampiric
teeth, lifting her eyes to lock her cold and dark eyes with Edge. "We have a
visitor, my master..." Ariel hisses as she glances over her shoulder slightly
to look at Kevin Thorn as he stands behind her. Ariel, dressed in a short
black skirt and a tight fitting dark red halter-styled top, withdrawals
another tarot card from her deck of cards and lays it out on the table facing
Edge. "What brings such a foul human with a dark and jaded past...a past full
of the brooded brotherhood..." Ariel pauses and slowly slides her sinister
tongue against her blood red lips. "My master...he is one of a us..."

"Say what?" Edge asks as he tosses his blond hair back.

Kevin Thorn narrows his eyes as he looks at Edge, "What do you mean my pet?"
Thorn asks Ariel as he glares darkly at Edge.

Ariel grits her vampiric teeth together and narrows her eyes as she slithers
her black gloved hands against the small circular table. "He once....craved
the blood as you and I...master....he was part of a brood..." Ariel hisses
and before she leans back slightly in her chair, pressing back against the
powerful body of Kevin Thorne.

Edge laughs, "Oh wait you think.... hey listen cutie... that was a long time
ago and it was just a quick way to get famous..." Edge says as he suddenly
feels uncomfortable being where he is and he starts to step backward.

Thorn sneers at Edge, "He has forsaken his past..." Thorn says as he takes
his eyes off of Edge to look at Ariel, "What does his future hold?" Thorn
asks as out of nowhere a goblet with a red liquid appears on the circular
table just in front of Ariel's tarot cards. Upon seeing the goblet, the color
almost drains from Edge's face.

Ariel with her cold and dark vampiric eyes locked on Edge blindly reaches to
her deck of tarot cards with her left hand before flipping the tarot card
face up on the table. Ariel lowers her head and glances down at the card. "My is a future of rebirth...a time where one must face his past and
his lust for blood..." Ariel hisses as she firmly holds her eyes on the Rated
R Superstar. "Come...take a drink..." Ariel hisses as she motions toward the
goblet filled with the delicious red liquid that appears to be blood.

"Hey I'm not drinking that..." Edge says as Kevin Thorn suddenly vanishes.

"My pet has invited you to drink..." Thorn says as appears behind Edge and
grabs his arms.

"HEY!" Edge shouts as he tries to fight back but Thorn pushes him forward and
down to his knees.

"My pet...." Thorn simply says as he easily holds Edge down on his knees
while motioning for his head to bring the goblet to Edge. Ariel licks her
vampiric teeth and nods her head as she slithers up from her chair and picks
up the goblet before she walks over toward Edge as he is forced to kneel down
onto floor with the powerful vampiric Kevin Thorn holding him down. Ariel
sinisterly laughs as she raises the goblet to Edge's lips.

"I'm not..." Edge starts to yell in protest as Thorn suddenly grabs his chin
and forces him to open his mouth. Edge violently tries to free himself as
Ariel starts to pour the red liquid into Edge's mouth and once his mouth is
full, Thorn forces Edge's mouth closed and covers his nose so that Edge has
no choice but to swallow it.

" is complete...he drank from the blood" Ariel says as she drops
the goblet to the floor.

Edge violent coughs as Thorn lets him go. Edge leans forward and appears as
if he's going to vomit but then he suddenly raises his head to look at Thorn
and Ariel. Edge's eyes are slightly tinted red and when he opens his mouth,
he has two noticeable fangs. "You shall earn your position with us...
rise..." Thorn orders. Edge slowly gets up to his feet and he lustfully looks
at Ariel. Ariel nods her head at Kevin Thorn and licks her blood red,
sinister lips as she walks up to Edge, swaying her seductively curved hips
from side to side. Once she approaches Edge, she stands directly in front of
him, placing her gloved hands onto his t-shirt before she roughly jerks the
t-shirt from his upper body. Edge's t-shirt is easily torn from his upper
body, revealing his tanned and muscular chest and well defined abs. Kevin
Thorn neatly removes his blood red suit jacket as he watches Ariel examine
Edge's chest before she starts to unbuckle the Rated R Superstar's belt.

Ariel tilts her dark black haired head back and wickedly laughs as she tears
opens Edge's belt around his jeans before roughly jerking the belt from
around his waist. "Present yourself to pet!" Ariel hisses.

Edge nods his head, "Yes... mistress..." Edge says as he undoes his jeans and
lowers them from his waist revealing his muscular legs and his impressive
thirteen inch long cock that is already fully hardened. Kevin Thorn smirks
slyly as he removes his blood red shirt as Ariel has her full attention on
Edge. Ariel narrows her cold and dark eyes before the Vampiric Vixen of ECW
slithers down onto her knees in front of the Rated R Superstar, her wicked
eyes locking on his massive, hardened shaft. Ariel slithers her hands around
his shaft and wickedly strokes her hands against his cock.

Thorn smirks, "My pet... you are still clothed..." Thorn says as he begins to
remove his pants. Ariel glances back at her master and with a wicked grin,
with the exception of her gloves, her skirt and top disappear revealing her
surprisingly tanned body, juicy ass and incredibly large tits.

"I'm ready now...master..." Ariel hisses as she strokes her gloved hands
against Edge's rock solid shaft. Ariel positions herself more comfortably on
her knees, arching her sinisterly hot ass slightly. Ariel presses her head
down to Edge's cock and parts her vampiric lips before guiding his long shaft
into her mouth.

"Mmmmm..." Edge moans as Ariel takes his cock into her mouth before she
presses her dark red lips down on it. Kevin Thorn kneels behind Ariel, and
his own cock that is also a massive thirteen inches slides against Ariel's
ass cheeks. Thorn grips his shaft and guides it smoothly into Ariel's tight
Vampiric cunt.

"MMMMMMMM!" Ariel hungrily groans around Edge's cock as she feels Kevin
Thorn's massive cock sliding into her wickedly wet and warm pussy. Ariel
tightly presses her lips against Edge's as she sinisterly bobs her head up
and down on Edge's massive cock.

"Mmmm..." Kevin Thorn groans lightly as he pumps his huge cock in and out of
Ariel's wet and tight cunt. Edge has his tinted red eyes locked on Ariel's
face as she bobs her head up and down on his massive cock with ease. Ariel
lifts her seductive and haunting eyes to glare up at Edge as she bobs her
head on his shaft, wickedly slapping her tongue against his shaft while she
sinisterly guides her body back against the massive cock of Kevin Thorn.

"Ahhh..." Edge moans as Ariel twists her dark haired head sharply on his cock
as she devours his shaft. Thorn has a firm hold of Ariel's well rounded hips
as he roughly rams his cock into her.

"Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Ariel moans as she hungrily feasts on Edge's cock, turning
her vampiric head from side to side. Ariel's blood red lips grind against his
thick shaft while she sharply rocks back and forth on her hands and knees
while Kevin Thorn aggressively slams his shaft into her cunt.

"Ahhhh... mmmm...' Kevin Thorn grunts as he drives his cock balls deep into
his Vampiric Vixen's sinister snatch. Edge licks his newly formed fangs as
Ariel opens her mouth as wide as possible to completely deep throat his meaty

Ariel sharply turns her head on Edge's shaft, grinding her sinister lips
against it while she rapidly takes his cock deeper into her wicked mouth.
"Mmmmm...mmmmm" Ariel groans as her juicy and seductive vampiric ass smacks
back against Kevin Thorn's powerful waist.

"Awwww.... mmmm...." Edge groans as he brings his right hand to Ariel's head
as she hungrily twists and turns her head on his cock that's all the way down
her throat. Kevin Thorn smirks as he sees Edge starting to fuck Ariel's mouth
as he continues to slam his cock into Ariel's cunt.

"Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm! Gahhhhh!" Ariel seductively hisses and moans around Edge's
cock as his shaft thrust past her blood red lips while she cravingly rocks
back against Thorn's cock inside of her pussy, feeling the constant rough

"Mmmmm ahh..." Thorn licks his fanged teeth as he pulls his massive cock otu
of Ariel's wet cunt as she starts to lift her head off of Edge's huge dick.

Ariel licks her fanged teeth and glances over her shoulder to smirk wickedly
at Kevin Thorn. "Mmmmm...master....he is perfect..."

Thorn smirks at Ariel, "He is my pet... make use of him..." Thorn says before
he glares at Edge for a moment.

Ariel nods her head and smirks "Yes my master..." Ariel hisses before she
turns to her head to look at Edge. "Lay down my pet..."

"Yes mistress..." Edge says as he proceeds to lie down on the cold floor of
the room. Kevin Thorn stands up as Ariel begins to slowly move on top of the
Rated R Superstar.

Ariel places her gloved hands onto Edge's muscular, tanned chest as she
lowers herself sharply onto his rock hard cock, taking him deeply into her
wicked pussy. "Ohhhhhhh yesssss...." Ariel groans as she starts to rock on
his shaft, sliding her hands against his chest.

"Mmmmmm.... ahhh...." Edge moans as Ariel starts to grind back and forth on
his massive cock. Edge raises his hands and places them on Ariel's large
juicy tits while Thorn steps in front of her to guide his cock into her

"Mmmmmmm!" Ariel moans as she obediently takes Kevin Thorn's vampiric cock
into her mouth and she begins to hungrily bob her head to suck and feast on
his shaft. Ariel slithers her gloved hands to Edge's shoulders as he lays on
the cold concrete floor with her wickedly rocking on his shaft.

"Mmmm yes my pet..." Kevin Thorn moans as he puts his left hand on Ariel's
head as she bobs her head perfectly on his huge cock. Edge fondles Ariel's
large tits as he begins to thrust his thirteen inch shaft upward into her
Vampiric snatch.

"Mmmmmm! Mmmmmm!" Ariel moans as she bobs her head steadily on Kevin Thorn's
cock while sharply rocking back on Edge's cock, feeling him thrusting up into
her pussy.

"Ahhhh awwww... mmm..." Edge moans as he pops his cock firmly up into Ariel's
pussy as he raises his head to flick his tongue against Ariel's hardened
nipple. Thorn jerks his cock out of Ariel's wicked mouth and smirks down at
her when she pouts for a brief moment. Ariel narrows her eyes and hungrily
licks her lips as she glares up at Kevin Thorn while she sharply rocks back
and forth on Edge's cock, grinding her vampiric cunt down on his cock. Kevin
Thorn steps around Ariel and kneel behind her once again. He then spreads
Ariel's ass cheeks apart and violently shoves his cock into her asshole.

"Ohhhhhhhh! Master!" Ariel screams lustfully and grits her teeth as she
sharply rocks forward on Edge's cock, feeling the massive shaft of Kevin
Thorn thrusting into her ass.

"Mmmmm ahhhh..." Edge groans as he sharply thrusts his cock up into Ariel's
wet cunt as she rocks on his shaft to push back against Thorn's cock. Edge
starts to make his thrusts rougher to match the force Thorn is using as Ariel
rocks between them.

"Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh master! Ohhhhhhh!" Ariel moans as she bounces sharply on
Edge's cock beneath her while she sharply rocks back against Thorn's cock
inside of her asshole.

"Ahhh... ahhh..." Kevin Thorn grunts as he violently hammers Ariel's ass with
his massive cock. Edge starts to sit up so that Ariel's tits are pressing
against his chest. With Edge sitting up, Ariel is now sandwiched between him
and Thorn with their huge cocks in her pussy and ass.

"Ohhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh!" Ariel moans, sweating dripping from her body, as she
sharply grinds between Edge and Kevin Thorn, dropping heavily on Edge's cock
in her pussy as Kevin Thorn rams his cock deeply into her ass.

"Mmmmmm... ahhhh... awww..." Edge grunts and moans as Ariel wraps her arms
around his neck as she bounces violently on his cock in response to the way
Thorn is pounding her ass.

"Ohhhhhhh! Ohhhhhh! Yessssss!" Ariel hisses and throws her head back as she
starts to cum on Edge's cock.

"Mmmmm ahhhh... my pet... make him ours..." Kevin Thorn groans deeply as he
starts to cum inside of Ariel's Vampiric ass. Ariel closes her eyes and licks
her vampiric teeth as she grinds her sinisterly hot body between Kevin Thorn,
who is deeply cumming in her ass, and Edge who she continues to move sharply
on his cock.

"Ahhh... awwww.... mmmmm... " Edge licks his fanged teeth as Ariel sharply
rocks on his cock that is now starting to throb inside of her cunt. Kevin
Thorn pulls his massive cock out of Ariel's asshole once he's finished
filling her ass with his spunk.

Ariel leans into Edge, rocking her vampiric body on his shaft at a sharp and
rough pace, grinding her pussy on his shaft. "Ohhhhhh! Ohhhhhh!" Ariel hisses
and moans as she grabs onto Edge's long blond hair as he fucks her pussy.

Ariel roughly jerks Edge's head forward as if to lustfully kiss him but she
bites down on his bottom lip to make him bleed. "AHHHHH!" Edge groans as
Ariel bites his bottom lip as he starts to cum inside of her sinister twat.

* * *

"AHHHHH!" Edge sits up on a bed screaming loudly as his body is coated with a
cold sweat.

"" Lita groans as she turns on the bed to tiredly glance at her
boyfriend Edge, who has sat up drenched in sweat.

Edge is breathing heavily and he slides a hand through his blond hair, "Y-
yeah?" Edge responds as he tries to compose himself.

Lita squints her eyes slightly as she moves to sit up on the bed, the bed
sheets slipping from her body to expose her bare chest. "Baby...are you ok?"

"Yeah baby... I'm fine.... really... go back to sleep..." Edge says as he
starts to lay back down.

Lita raises an eyebrow and smirks. "You weren't trying to get me up for a
late night fuck, were you?" Lita asks with a sly laugh.

"No I wasn't...." Edge says before he grins and flicks his tongue against his
fanged teeth, "But that doesn't sound like a bad idea baby..."

Lita presses her sultry lips together and turns back to face Edge "Mmmm do you want me?" Lita asks as she slides her hands against the
bed, moving them towards her Rated R lover, until she pauses for a moment.
"What the....what's this?" Lita asks as she picks an object up from the
mattress of the bed in the area between her and Edge.

Edge grins in the darkness as Lita picks up a goblet filled with a red
liquid, "Oh that's something you just have to try...."

Lita raises an eyebrow as she raises the goblet to her nose and takes a sniff
of the red liquid inside of it. "Baby....what is it...and where'd it come
from?" Lita asks before shaking her head "Cause this wasn't here a little
while ago..."

"Oh I just put it there... have a drink baby... you'll love it..." Edge says
as he licks his fangs.


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