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READ THIS FIRST!!! This story, like all of the other stories written by us, is a fictional parody, we write these fictitious stories for fun and because we can. The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled that parodies involving famous people are perfectly and totally legal under the United States Constitution (ruling occurred as a result of the case "Hustler Magazine, Inc et al vs. Jerry Falwell" in 1988).

Basically what we are saying THIS IS FICTON, it is not true, didn't happened and there's a good chance it won't ever happen!

Now... Kristi and Dice present:

Real American Problems
by Kristi ( and Frederick "Dice" Casden (

On April 16, 2013 as weekly tapings of SmackDown, Main Event and Saturday Morning Slam are completed, Jack Swagger, dressed in his wrestling singlet, is with his founding father Zeb Colter in the backstage area of Knoxville, Tennessee's Thompson-Boling Arena. "Jack we got a problem... you know that pretty little ring announcer, Lilian Garcia?"

"Yeah..." Swagger nods his head.

"I just found out that she was not born here in these United States, she was born in Spain was smuggled across the border..." Zeb says.

"She was?" Jack Swagger asks.

"That's right... sure her father worked for the US Embassy... but she was not born here... she has taken a job that should be held by a REAL American... and she sounded too glad to announce that Alberto Del Rio defeated you earlier..." Zeb Colter says before pausing, "Jack, I know you don't need this to be said to you, but as a true patriot... I think you should do something about that..."

Jack Swagger thinks for a long moment, reflecting back on how he dealt with Rosa Mendes back in February before nodding his head in agreement with Zeb. "I will... in fact, I'm going to deal with this right now..." Swagger says as he walks away from Zeb Colter.

"That's right Jack! You go show them her how we treat them illegals who sneak across out borders...' Zeb Colter says.

* * *

A short time later, Lilian Garcia is in the Divas locker room and is about to change out of her white dress, Jack Swagger barges into the room, "You have some nerve!" Swagger yells at Lilian as he slams the locker room door shut and locks it.

Lilian turns her head and looks at Jack Swagger, raising an eyebrow "You're not allowed in here..." Lilian says.

"You're one to talk... born in a different country... then taking a job that should go to a real American..." Swagger says as he steps towards Lilian.

Lilian raises her hands up and takes a step back "Whoa...whoa...whoa...I am an American...I love this country" Lilian says as she backs up into the wall. "And if you ask me...the only two people that should kicked out are you and Zeb Colter..."

"Just like some foreigner to say that..." Swagger says firmly as he grabs Lilian's wrists with both hands.

"Hey! Who the hell do you think you away!" Lilian yells as Swagger holds onto her wrists.

"I'm going to show you how your kind is going to be treated in my America..." Swagger says firmly as her jerks Lilian towards himself before forcing her down to her knees.

"Hey! Let go!" Lilian yells as Swagger firmly places her hands onto her shoulders to keep her down on the locker room floor.

Swagger grabs a handful of Lilian's hair with one hand while he uses the other to lower the straps of his wrestling singlet so that he can push it downward. Within a matter of moments, Swagger's singlet is down around his knees and his hardening cock is inches from Lilian's face.

Lilian narrows her eyes and glares up at the Zeb Colter-proclaimed "True Patriot" before he forces his meaty American cock into her mouth without warning.

"Take it deep you non-American bitch..." Swagger says firmly as he pushes his cock further into Lilian's mouth as he places his free hand on the back of Lilian's head to keep her from pulling back.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm!" Lilian moans around Swagger's invading cock as her lips press against his shaft, feeling him pushing his cock deeper into her wet mouth.

"Ahhhh..." Swagger groans as he starts to move his hips back and forth in order to thrust his dick in and out of Lilian's mouth.

"Mmmmmm...mmmmmm..." Lilian moans as her head remains still as Swagger pumps his cock into her mouth, forcing her lips to stretch around his shaft.

"Ahhhh awww..." Swagger moans as he forces his cock deeper into Lilian's mouth with each of his forward thrusts.

"Mmmmmmmm...mmmmm....gahhhhh...gahhhh..." Lilian Garcia begins to gag as the head of Swagger's cock pushes against the back of her mouth, gradually with more force.

"Ahhhh mmmm fuck you can't handle a Real American..." Swagger groans as he taunts the Madrid, Spain born ring announcer as he fucks her mouth with his large, thick shaft.

"Mmmmmmmmm! Mmmmmm! MMMMMMMM!" Lilian moans as her saliva heavily drips on his shaft.

"Ahhhh awww... mmmm fuck..." Swagger moans as he repeatedly rams his cock deeply into Lilian's mouth, resulting in his balls smacking against her chin.

"Mmmmmm....mmmmmm...mmmmm...gahhhhh...gahhhhh!" Lilian moans and gags as Swagger roughly pushes his cock into her mouth.

"Awww.... ahhh..." Swagger groans as he continues to hold Lilian's head firmly as he continues to pump his cock firmly into her mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmmm....mmmmmm..." Lilian moans as her lips brush back and forth against his shaft, while he continues to pump deeply into her mouth.

"Ahhhh shit... mmmm fuck..." Swagger moans as he holds his cock inside of Lilian's mouth for several moments before jerking it out. As Lilian coughs and catches her breath, Swagger pulls her up to her feet and proceeds to rip off her dress.

Lilian grits her teeth as Swagger forces her to turn around and pushes her against the wall.

"This is how I'm going to deal with trash like you... who think they can just come in here and take what isn't theirs..." Swagger says as he grabs hold of Lilian's waist with one hand while he uses the other to pull down her panties. Just as Lilian looks back at him, Swagger shoves his large cock into her tight Spanish-American snatch.

"Mmmmmmmmm...ohhhhhhh shit..." Lilian moans as she collides with the wall, with Swagger's cock ramming deeply into her.

"Ahhhh mmmm..." Swagger grunts as he places his free hand on Lilian's shoulder as he starts to firmly pump his cock in and out of her twat.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhh shit..." Lilian moans and closes her eyes as her body moves forward with Swagger's cock pumping into her pussy greedily.

"Ahhhh awwww fuck... ahhhh..." Swagger groans as he slams every inch of his cock into Lilian's cunt with each of his thrusts.

"Ohhhhhhhhh...mmmmm...ohhhhhh...ohhhhhh..." Lilian moans as Swagger deeply pumps his cock into her wet pussy, with his waist smacking against her gorgeous ass.

"Ahhhh mmmm fuck yeah... you like that fucking real American cock don't you... fucking Spanish whore..." Swagger groans as he grabs Lilian's hips with both hands as he continues to hammer her pussy.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhh..ohhhhhh!" Lilian moans as she rests her head against the wall as Swagger continues to aggressively thrust his cock into her pussy, rocking her forward on her feet.

"Ahhhh awww... mmmmm fuck..." Swagger grunts as he repeatedly pumps his cock into Lilian's wet pussy.

"Ohhhhhhhh...mmmmmm...ohhhhhhh..." Lilian moans as Swagger firmly pulls her back against his cock.

"Ahhh yeah... mmmm fuck... awww..." Jack Swagger moans a she keeps up his pace of thrusting his dick into Lilian Garcia's snatch.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhh...ohhhhhhh!" Lilian moans as her ass continues to connect loudly with his waist.

"Mmmm fuck.." Jack Swagger groans as he rams his cock deeply into Lilian Garcia's pussy once more before pulling out. Swagger turns Lilian around and forces her to lay down on the floor. Swagger then kneels between Lilian's legs and rams his cock back into her tight Spanish-American pussy.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh!" Lilian moans and her back arches from the floor as he begins to deeply pound into her pussy, holding onto her gorgeously smooth legs with his hands.

"AHhh yeah... ahhhh mmmm..." Swagger groans as he plows his cock deeply into Lilian's snatch as he holds her legs apart.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhh...ohhhhhh shit...ohhhhh..." Lilian moans as he rams his cock into pussy, with firm and swift thrusts.

"Ahhhhh mmmm fuck... ahhh..." Jack Swagger groans as he slams every inch of his cock into Lilian's twat over and over again.

"Mmmmmmmm...ohhhhhh shit..." Lilian moans as she lightly pushes against his thrusting cock.

"Ahhhh awww... mmmm fuck..." Swagger groans as he plows his cock sharply into Lilian's snatch.

"Mmmmmmm...ohhhhhh...ohhhhhh..." Lilian moans and bites down on her bottom lip as he continues to sharply drive his cock into her pussy.

"Ahhhh shit... awww...." Jack Swagger grunts loudly as he takes his hands off of Lilian's legs and places them on her hips as he continues to hammer her hot wet twat.

"" Lilian slightly moans and whimpers as Jack Swagger roughly slams his cock into her wet pussy.

"Ahhhh aww yeah beg.... beg for that fucking real American dick..." Swagger moans as 'patriotically' fucks Lilian at a relentless pace.

" more...." Lilian closes her eyes and shakes her head as she moves on the floor.

"Ahhhh fuck... aww..." Jack Swagger groans as he repeatedly slams his cock into Lilian Garcia's soaking wet pussy.

"Ohhhhhhhhh...ohhhhhhh shit...ohhhhhh" Lilian moans as her back sharply arches as Jack Swagger deeply and roughly pounds her.

"Ahhhh awww... ahhhh..." Swagger grunts as his cock begins to throb as he continues to fuck Lilian's cunt at a brisk pace.

"Mmmmmmmmm...mmmmmm...ohhhhh god..." Lilian moans and grits her teeth as Swagger sharply slams down into her wet snatch.

"Ahhhh awww.... ahhhh..." Swagger groans as he continues to hammer Lilian's pussy until he begins to cum inside of her.

Lilian Garcia's gorgeous body trembles as Swagger unloads into her pussy after roughly thrusting into her.

"Ahhh yeah... mmmm fuck..." Swagger groans as he floods Lilian's pussy with his cum.

Lilian slowly opens her eyes and looks up at Jack Swagger as he slyly smirks down at her.

"Do yourself a favor... don't ever piss me off again you Spanish bitch..." Swagger says, "Or I'll do this to you again..."


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